Normalcy

I have been existing just fine.

I have been observing. People. Places. Things. Nothing extraordinary. An assemblage of rickshaw-pullers challenging their luck by playing cards. A young boy and his father begging, amidst cars gridlocked in space near Connaught Place. A security guard, an old man, opening the door for people who enter the coffee shop and closing it for people who leave. A wooden ladder, stained from the walls it helped paint, suspended in time on my balcony. Stillness of an empty verandah on a cold afternoon and commotion, bustle on the streets of Chandni Chowk. I have been observing normalcy.

I have been smelling. People. Places. Things. Nothing extraordinary. The odour of tobacco from a middle-aged lady sitting next to me on my flight. The strong scent of ginger and cinnamon from a cup of masala chai. Sweet cucumbers from the lotion sitting on my dressing table. The smell of familiar rooms, roads and routes. Hot showers, cold mornings, homemade breakfasts, wearing an unwashed shirt, ink. Stinky, acrid laneways and perfumed hotel lobbies. I have been sniffing normalcy.

I have been listening. To people, places and things. Nothing extraordinary. The bustle of a local market and sizzling kebabs being sold by a vendor. The silence inside a train carriage and the sound of revving engines & honking cars outside. Cracked, high-pitched voices speaking sweet, casual-toned Punjabi and rich, heavy voices speaking fluent English, painting an illusory picture of sophistication. Music that I listen to on loop and music that I have not heard in a while. Folk, ballads, soulful Hindi and hip-hop. The sound of my dreams while I am asleep and of a clock ticking in my empty guest room. The cacophony of an alarm and the sweet melody of a nursery rhyme. I have been listening to normalcy.

I have been thinking. About people, places and things. Nothing extraordinary. Meditating and reflecting. Constructing hypotheses, drawing inferences and making conclusions. Analysing. Juxtaposing. Triggering neural pathways. New ones, old ones. Experiencing the usual, the unusual. I have been thinking about normalcy.

I have been feeling. For people, places and things. In-place and out-of-place. Joy, as I meet old friends again. Grief, as I recall things from the past. Warmth of a blanket and the chill of an iced latte. Gratitude while eating out with my family and tranquility when I am counting shades of blue in the sky. Nostalgia as I watch cartoons from the 00’s and awe as my eyes follow trajectories of a myriad firecrackers that paint what some people call heaven. Indignation. Surprise. Insecurity. Dejection. Relief. Pangs. Melancholy. A million more. Ones that I cannot even identify. Sometimes, everything at once. I have been feeling normalcy.

I have been existing just fine. But normalcy, normalcy deserves more. It deserves more.