Being a pie face expatrenuer in China
When someone cups your life in their big hands, it’s scary.
When you’re little, learning, growing, you’re conditioned. At various levels, you are controlled. Generally a parent/guardian/nanny/ relative tells you what to do, when to do it. What to eat, when to eat, brush your teeth, do it a certain way, go to bed, wake up.
You age and soon realise you can do everything for yourself. Make your own decisions. Control your own life. So you do. You become independent. Get on with your day to day life, your way, as you see best. Live.
But imagine someone having the power to take that all away from you. As an adult. Within seconds.
Last Thursday, my whole life and world was taken into the hands of someone else. For a whole 48 hours. It sounds dramatic. And at the time, it was.
I had flown to Hong Kong from China on the famous ‘visa run’ everyone recommends to do. Waited my turn at the China Resources Building, Wan Cai. Number 229. I sit, I smile (perhaps not enough) and apply for my Chinese visa with all the right paperwork, dotted i’s, crossed t’s. And, within two minutes, I was rejected. Very little explanation. But I heard the lady loud and clear. Rejected to enter into China again.
Rejected by a middle aged lady, who for her own reasons, was grumpy, angry with the world, beaten, conditioned from a young age and very unfortunately has most likely never had the feeling of independence. No real reason given. No valid one at that.
That Thursday, was like someone came along and one by one stole bricks from the house you’d half built, by hand. Somewhat resembles the Three Little Pigs story.
So, with very little sleep and lots of research, the next day, I went to apply again elsewhere, and awaited fate. A professional agency who helps foreigners get Visa’s in China, to their best ability. But you must pay. A lot. And wait, hours, for an outcome. Worst case scenario, I get rejected, again, right? So, just do it Teresa. Pay, and wait.
Within those 48 hours I was a mess… waiting…. An emotional wreck. I lost motivation, appetite, drive. I lost control of my own life. Someone else had it. And could determine my fate with one simple word — yes or no. One simple emotion they felt at the time — happy or sad.
This was my start up, I’ve worked so hard to build and continue to do so. I had moved to China temporarily only months ago (with three suitcases) to expand the start up. Being in China meant so much to my livelihood, my entire existence at this point. And now, someone could take that all away from me.
Feelings of anger, pain, grief all overcame me. And why? Because when it came down to it, I knew I couldn’t control anything. I suddenly couldn’t control the one thing I wanted. To go back to China and continue my life that I had slowly started to set up. Continue to explore the startups growth opportunities and, well, see my new (and old) Chinese friends, and do KTV on a Friday.
And now, with a clear mind and a renewed visa (money, patience, optimism gets you places), I make my way back to Shanghai. Ready to keep going, fighting for my dream and expand chozun into the Asian market.
The biggest learning I had from this (other than the struggles of maintaining visas in China as a foreigner), is that you actually can’t control everything, even when it’s your own life, your own business. But, what you can control is your reaction to situations, challenges, problems. Your resilience, your optimism, your strategies to cope when life throws a pie in your face.
So do that. Next time someone shot puts a pie and it lands on your cheek; breathe. And work out how you can make it through. How can you make a not so great situation easier for yourself; mentally, physically and emotionally.
No more pies for now (although I’d kill for a meat one in my belly), I have a plane to catch back to the Mainland.
