10 Ways For Women To Feel More Confident At Work

“You’re gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle” -David Nicholls, One Day

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could give women the gift of confidence — just like that — wave a magic wand and in walks someone who is self-assured, assertive and cool under pressure. Unfortunately I don’t possess that wand, in fact I don’t think anyone does, but recognizing the root of your insecurity and addressing it can ultimately lead to a more confident, buoyant you.

A lack of confidence in the workplace is not uncommon and it can be triggered by a number of things — intimidation, the feeling of being out of your depth, a lack of experience, self-doubt, a negative relationship, I could go on. And what’s more, women are more prone to these feelings compared to their male counterparts.

In a recent survey conducted by the Institute of Leadership and Management, half of female managers said they had a high level of confidence, against more than 70 percent of men. This possibly stems from the fact that women have been — and to some extend still are — the underdogs in business. It may also come from other underlying pressures — the pressure to look good, peer pressure, finding a work life / balance, not to mention the ever-looming glass ceiling.

Ironically though, the fear of reaching the fabled glass ceiling is actually preventing many women from bagging the top jobs. A lack of confidence and thus ambition is kyboshing any hopes they had of getting to the very top of their game. The survey found that three quarters of women in senior jobs believe a gender glass ceiling does exist and yet just one third of those women thought their own careers had been held back by it. Without ruffling too many feathers here, the glass ceiling is being maintained by women who lack the confidence to test the water.

So how do women overcome confidence challenges in the work place and achieve their career aspirations and goals?

Focus On You And Don’t Get Involved In Office Politics
“Confidence emerges from time-honored good work combined with a great attitude,” says Lynn Taylor, a workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant. If you are spending all your time focusing on what those around you are doing and saying, you are neglecting to concentrate your efforts on you, your work ethic and your application. Do the best you can to stay on-task and focused regardless of office politics, gossip, bitchiness or non-productive maneuvers. We all know the people who take hour and a half lunch breaks or extended trips to the coffee machine — distance yourself from them as much as possible and concentrate on your work and results.
Know Your Strengths And How To Play To Them
One way to feel more confident at work is to identify your strengths and incorporate them into your everyday routine. By flexing your strongest muscles first you will feel more empowered and energetic and thus more able to tackle tasks you find daunting. By identifying and acknowledging your own strengths you will learn to become more self-assured.
Identify Your Weaknesses And Ask For Constructive Criticism
Believe it or not, admitting that you are not excellent at everything will go a long way towards building your confidence. If you know where your weaknesses lie, you can compensate by focusing more time and effort on these tasks. It is also important to ask those around you for constructive criticism to help you improve. With improvement comes, you guessed it, more confidence in your own ability.

This being said, I watched a really interesting video the other day in which Arianna Huffington speaks candidly about ‘Letting go’. At the age of 40 she made a list, not of the things she wanted to achieve, but of the ‘negative fantasies’ she knew she was not going to achieve in life — learning to ski or play a guitar for example. By getting rid of this emotional baggage, Arianna can see the wood for the trees and focus her energies on the things that really matter. So sometimes admitting that you will not succeed at everything is actually a sign of strength and will give you a much needed injection of sureness.

Do Something That Scares You Everyday
There are many reasons why people lack confidence in the workplace, but often a lack of confidence is down to fear. ‘Do something that scares you every day’ is a phrase often associated with bungee jumping, skydiving, wing walking or something equally adrenalin educing, but the thing that truly scares you could be talking to your boss about the idea you’ve had for a new product line, or asking him or her to consider you for the newly posted promotion. By taking the bull by the horns and jumping in with both feet, the thing that scared you becomes something you have overcome; an achievement: confidence boosted!
Carefully Consider The Actions Of People Around You Before Reacting
There is nothing like being thrown a curve ball by your superior or one of your colleagues to knock your confidence for the rest of the day. Someone else’s passing comment could leave you doubting your own decision for hours, when truth be told, they don’t even remember making the comment in the first place. By taking a step back and rationalizing what that person said, by giving it context and perspective, you are likely to react differently.

If you do however feel as though the comment was negative, decide how you are going to address the issue in a productive way before going in all guns blazing. Keeping check of your own reactions and emotions is extremely important in the workplace. It’s great to be passionate and exuberant, but always remember to think twice before throwing your weight around.

Monitor Your Own Success
Don’t expect those around you to recognize your success if you don’t even keep an eye on it yourself. By keeping a daily to-do list and writing down your achievements you will be able to see your own progression. This will give you’re your confidence, your resume and your chance of promotion a leg-up.
Have A Positive Attitude
Positivity is absolutely essential if you want to succeed in business and by positive I don’t necessarily mean you have to be ‘happy’ all the time. Positivity comes from having a forward thinking attitude, it comes from seeking solutions rather than problems and it comes from pushing yourself to achieve more each an every day. If you embody these attitudes, people will automatically radiate towards you, including your superiors — positivity is contagious. What’s more, if you encourage yourself to feel positive soon you will do so without trying. When you feel upbeat, in control and proactive, confidence is a by-product.
Listen And Learn From Those Around You
The ability to listen and learn from others is often viewed as an important indicator of career potential. Ask someone you respect to give you feedback about your performance — what do they see to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Often other people recognize more talent in us than we see ourselves.

Many influential businesswomen have spoken out about the important roles mentors have played in their career progression. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s COO and author of Lean In, credits a lot of her achievement to her mentor Larry Summers. Indra Nooyi, Chairperson and CEO of PepsiCo is also a huge advocate of mentors. “If I hadn’t had mentors, I wouldn’t be here today,” she said during her keynote speech at the 2008 Catalyst Awards. “I am a product of great mentoring and great coaching.”

Surround Yourself With The People Who Encourage You
Confidence doesn’t just come from career progression and it certainly isn’t isolated to a working environment. You have to surround yourself with ‘confidence triggers’ professionally and personally if you want to improve your self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you in every way — do not let negative sentiments sap your energy and your emotional strength.

If you are in a destructive relationship — get out. If you have a friend who constantly undermines you — stop socializing with them. Instead surround yourself with people who believe in you, who encourage you to succeed and who support your decisions. Don’t carry the emotional baggage of other people on your shoulders. When the confident, self-reliant, happy and contented new you emerges, those you left behind will soon come flooding back.

Believe In Yourself
I know this is easier said than done, but a little self-belief goes a long way. The saying goes, ‘practice makes perfect,’ so begin practicing to believe in yourself today. Start by writing a list of 50 things you like about yourself, no matter how trivial some of them may seem, it will go a long way to encouraging confidence. You mantra from now on needs to be, ‘I can do this’ and believe it. Now go out there and rule the day!