A ‘Gay Girl’ In A Man’s World: How One Woman’s Work Relationships Changed When Her Sexuality Did
The following article is written by an anonymous source who wished to keep their identity private.
I am not gay, nor am I straight, but when it comes to my job roles and my profession — I am most definitely gay.
Over the last 10 years, I have worked in the alcohol and entertainment industry. I started at the very bottom and worked my way up through blood sweat and tears through many roles from glass collecting and cleaning the venues to waitressing and bar-tending in high end cocktail bars and venue promotional work.
I have chosen a career where the vast majority of people I work for and with are men. I don’t doubt there are many other industries where the majority of workers are male, I just haven’t worked in them.
This is my story and experience from working in an industry where there are more male colleagues than women and where there are few gay male colleagues, with the majority being straight.
“I believe that from day one, working in a male-dominated sector has forced me to work twice as hard as my male colleagues”.
The countless times I can write about where men were chosen over me.
I would always be chosen to be the waitress instead of the cocktail bartender. I would be chosen to clean the tables instead of changing the barrel. I would be told that my experience was not enough to manage a team when the team were all male, even though I had the most experience! I was even told not to stand on the front door with the bouncers in favour of a male colleague.
I would be so infuriated when I was told that someone else (a man) should carry the beer kegs to the cellar instead of myself because I was female. Ironically, most of the time I was stronger! I was also better organised and more apt at doing the deliveries but because I was female, yet again, the males would get picked before me.
However, this was the case until the day I chose and announced to be gay.
Overnight these men changed towards me and changed for the better. Don’t get me wrong, these people were always my friends. I always got on well with all of them and we all worked as a team. The team was just divided between male and female staff. The difference was now that I had ‘come out’ they no longer tried to prowess with me or act in a certain way. I literally watched their shoulders relax and their entire body movements slop. They spoke to me as I was, for want of a better word, ‘one of the boys’ and my working relationships became more fun and happy.
The male staff I had been used to working with opened up to me, talked to me and even trusted me.
Odd I know, but it seemed that I was the Woman they could now trust. I wasn’t out to flirt with them and paid no interest in them in ‘that way.’ I now provided a female unbiased view on my team members lives.
You could see there brains tick over when I went to pick something heavy up. They would reach to help, remember it was me and just leave me to it. It was and has been fantastic! I finally have and remain to have the free rein I deserve. I am no longer fluffed or asked to make tea. I am whole-heartedly one of the team and pull my weight equally to any of the men I work with. Not every Woman would want this style of work, but I did and I strived for it for years.
It worked well for all parties even my boss and colleagues girlfriends laid off and relaxed. They stopped ‘keeping one eye on me’ and my interactions with all of them. In fact all the girlfriends and wives also changed towards me. The ladies now chatted to me freely and relaxed without that look in their eye as if I was I out to get there beloved man!
I am not saying it is right, nor am I lying to them or myself. Nor am I saying that this is what you should do to get anywhere in the alcohol & entertainment industry. I am merely stating the facts of my experience …take from it what you will.
