Choosing To Be Childless: Does It Mean You’re A Heartless Bitch?

rawper
rawper
Published in
4 min readJul 13, 2016

More and more women are choosing not to have children and are happy with their decision. Not choosing motherhood is a perfectly reasonable decision for a woman at any time in her life and it’s about owning your own future and not feeling tied to a lifestyle society wants for you, rather than what you want.

Why Less Women Are Choosing Motherhood…

1. The idea of putting someone else first for the rest of time is a big commitment that many women no longer feel they are obliged to commit to. It may be a little bit of selfishness but it’s mainly knowing your own mind. The thought of stress and worry for the rest of their lives is just not appealing.

2. The changes children can cause to your relationship can be huge and many couples are completely happy in their relationship and don’t want to change it.

3. Troubled relationships are never fixed by children and they simply become more complicated. It’s never a good idea.

4. Children can affect your sex life and the time you get to spend intimately with your partner, many women don’t want to sacrifice this.

5. Society no longer demands women have children in the same way, women can be successful in other ways which wasn’t possible in previous eras.

6. The cost of raising a child increases year on year and this can be hugely off-putting if you have worked very hard for your money and want to enjoy it yourself.

7. There is no one path to complete fulfilment: some women can’t have children, some women don’t want to have children and it is insulting to suggest their lives are incomplete without children.

8. There is less fear around the idea of being alone: the growth of the internet and social communities has meant women are less isolated than they once were. The desire for children as company is not as strong as it once was.

It could be said that all of these reasons have a degree of selfishness to them but there is no obligation for any woman to feel she is societally bound to have children if she doesn’t want to. Some of the world’s most successful women have never wanted to have children, from Elizabeth I to Oprah Winfrey and some of their success has to be attributed to their commitment to their lifestyles and careers, not their children.

Choosing To Be Childless: Does It Mean You're A Heartless Bitch?

“I don’t have this sort of checklist of things that have to be done and … if they’re not checked then I’ve failed some part of my feminism, or my being a woman, or my worth or my value as a woman. I’ve birthed a lot of things, and I feel like I’ve mothered many things. And I don’t think it’s fair to put that pressure on people.” — Jennifer Aniston on The Today Show, August 2014

Jennifer also aired her frustration at the media and public for constantly putting pressure on Women to have children. On July 12th, 2016 she blogged her opinion in The Huffington Post -

“For the record, I am not pregnant. What I am is fed up. I’m fed up with the sport-like scrutiny and body shaming that occurs daily under the guise of “journalism,” the “First Amendment” and “celebrity news.”

we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own “happily ever after” for ourselves.”

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Admitting you don’t want children can be a big move, it can mean some men are put off but on the flip side some men will find it a relief. It can also cause upset within your wider family but in reality, you’re the one who has to carry a child, give birth to it and bring it up and if you don’t want to do that, no one has the right to suggest you should.

Checkout these 12 Female Celebs who have chosen not to have children…

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