Congratulations, You Got Laid! Now Here’s How To Get Rid Of Him
So you fancied a bit of action last night and you’ve brought the guy home. Congratulations, you got laid.
Whilst it seemed like the best idea in the world at the time and you probably had plenty of fun, waking up the following morning can feel super shitty and awkward. There’s nothing worse than waking up next to a bad mistake. What you know for sure is there’s no place in your bed for this guy anymore, but how do you get rid? How do you convince your hook up that he’s just gotta go?
Here’s how to get a one night stand out of your bed, sharpish!
1. Forget the Hangover
You haven’t got the time to be moaning, groaning and staying in that bed any longer than you need. Yeah, you feel like shit, deal with it later, you’ve got a bigger problem right in front of your eyes. Down a glass of water and some pain killers, splash some cold water on your face and get ready to do whatever it takes to get rid of the man-slag.
2. Get some Clothes on
Did you wake up naked? You probably did and now’s the time to get your pants on. Don’t waste time trying to work out what happened, focus on making it go away and covering up your naked body is a good start. It could also be handy to get his clothes together too, so there’s no reason for him not to up and leave.
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM AGAIN.
3. Business as Usual
If the guy still isn’t moving when you’ve dressed and pointedly piled up his clothes to suggest it’s time to go, now’s when you get all passive aggressive. Those wine glasses? Gotta go in the wash. Floor looking a bit rank, get out the hoover. Coming over all domestic goddess and making a lot of noise whilst doing it should give the guy a clue.
4. Don’t Fall for Excuses
If this basic stranger is still lounging around in your bed, it doesn’t matter how shit they feel or how tired they are, they’ve got to go. Some guys may even try and make excuses just to hang around for something to do but seriously, drunk sex followed by watching bad TV all day together, no thanks. Swerve any suggestions of more action or even a second’s more time together. Make out you have somewhere to be and get dressed as if you’re about to leave and he should follow suit.
5. Hamm it Up
Take advice from a real pro and go with the classic Jon Hamm line from the movie Bridesmaids: “Wow, this is so awkward. I really want you to leave, but I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick.”
If that doesn’t work, this guy’s probably gonna go catfish on you, sorry.
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