There’s always one. One girl in your squad who you love, but she drives you frickin’ insane with her constant bitching. Especially because she never gets her shit together. Whether it’s bitching about her bae, complaining about never having any cash or going on about her weight, this mate wants all the sympathy but never even tries to sort her problems out. We get it, she’s pissing you off.
What NOT to Do
You don’t want to become the mate who is always landed with hours of moaning about everything and nothing comes of it. It drains your energy and hardly makes for a fun night out. Expect to be trapped in the cycle if you try to do any of these:
Cheer Her Up
If you become the mate who provides all the fun trips and treats and gives her a fab time then she’ll be back time and again, with yet more problems! If you’re sick of the bitching now how will you feel this time next year?
Suggest Solutions
This seems like the obvious idea but chances are you’ve tried it; did it get you anywhere? Even the tiniest thing that means nothing to you may be a BIG DEAL for her and you already know she isn’t going to act on anything you suggest. Back off, save your breathe and let her get on with it.
Tell her to get Herself Together
A good, honest friend would tell their friend when they’re just bitching and moaning all the time, right? Thing is, if you start telling someone who thinks they’ve got the WORST PROBLEM EVER that they just need to get their shit together they’ll probably ‘lose their shit’ with you and make you the next topic of their negativity. They may even stop hanging with you which isn’t such a bad thing if you’ve seriously had a guts full, but if you value them as a friend for their other qualities, chances are you won’t want to lose them.
Join in the Bitching
The more someone bitches and moans the less they’re actually sorting their problem out. So the more you agree and get involved with how much of a shit her ex was or yeah, her colleagues were totally out of line, the more chance there is you’ll be stuck bitching for a hell of a lot longer.
Try This Instead.
This may seem too easy to work but trust me, it does. Next time your friend turns up with another bitchfest, respond with nothing more than:
“Well it doesn’t sound THAT bad!”
You’ve got to keep it serious and sincere, offer empathy without trying to cheer her up or agreeing. Understanding that yeah, it’s a pretty big deal for her shows you do give a shit but you don’t want to get involved. Once your friend gets this, she should stop using you and maybe if you’re really lucky, she’ll finally start trying to sort the problems out.
Check out these great books to find all the answers on how to deal with your bitchy friend…
