How To Tell If You’re Dating Someone Who Is Trying To Change You
Nothing crushes your self-esteem more than dating someone who doesn’t embrace the real you.
It’s happened to A LOT of us. First you find yourself totally infatuated with them and then they start to show what they really think about some of your ‘ways’. And whilst we should just tell them to go fuck themselves and find someone who loves us for who we are, we know it doesn’t always feel that easy.
All because of feelings. Urgh.
The problem with being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin or even embarrassed about things you do, is the reality that they are actually trying to change you. They clearly see some sort of potential in you as they wouldn’t be with you in the first place, but they still consider you a work in progress and want to mould you into something that suits them. Even if that means you lose complete sight of the person you really are.
These offenders can be confused as charming and considerate people saying things like “ I only want you to be the best person you can be” — when in actual fact their narcissistic, controlling and manipulative. DO NOT BE FOOLED. Someone who cares about you wouldn’t want to change you.
So here’s some red flags to look out for if you think you’re dating a control freak who wants to change you…
1. They question the validity of your job
2. They compare you to other people
4. They tell you to change your personal style.
5. They’re super kind to you when you’re doing exactly what they tell you do.
6. They make you feel lame for liking certain TV shows and music
7. They criticise but then follow it up with “but i’m only telling you because i know you can do better”
8. They make you feel embarrassed when you say certain things in front of friends
If your guy or girl does any of the above, they do not give a shit about you really.
Get out of your relationship and find someone who loves you for all your weird and wonderful ways.