Understanding Asexuality

​By Bailey

Hey! I enjoy helping people understand LGBT+ culture.
I’m here if you need to talk at any time, feel free to email me.
polyromantic — ace — female ​​

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. It’s very simply; not being sexually attracted to anyone. Being asexual is not to be confused with abstinence; asexuality is not a choice, whilst abstinence is.

Asexual is often confused with aromantic. Asexual individuals still experience romantic attraction and desire a romantic relationship. An example of this confusion is the graphic depicting sexualities with a gym class metaphor. (to the left)

Asexuality is not a bad thing. If you believe you are asexual, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. In this society where so much importance is placed on how much sex you have, it can sometimes be hard for an asexual individual to feel that they fit in. Sometime asexual individuals are even teased about their orientation. Some people will use means such as calling someone a plant to belittle the individual. Often times, someone won’t even mean to, but they will make offending statements. This can be often due to confusing asexuality and abstinence. Many people think being asexual is a choice that you make when you no longer want to have sex, but it’s not.

Being asexual does not mean that you will never have sex, and having sex doesn’t make you no longer asexual. Everyone is different; some asexual individuals are disgusted by sex and some don’t mind having it, they just don’t crave it.

It’s important to remember that asexual is also an umbrella term. This means that there are different types of asexuality, all of which include some lack or minority of sexual attraction. Some common terms that fall under the asexual umbrella are:

  • Demisexual: feeling sexual attraction to someone only after forming a strong emotional bond
  • Graysexual: sometimes experiences sexual attraction
  • Cupiosexual: not experiencing sexual attraction but still desiring a sexual relationship

If you have any questions or concerns about asexuality, feel free to contact me from our “About Us” section.

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