McHoliday Hours
I woke up on the Fourth of July in a mild panic. My biggest fear was not that I was inadequate- it was that McDonalds would have limited hours due to the holiday. I blindly clamored for my phone, went to speed dial, and talked to Linda. She reassured me that the establishment was open, and would continue to be open, during the small window I had to ingest a breakfast that can only be described as ‘divine.’
Fourth of July is a misnomer as far as describing the holiday in Juneau. It’s more of a Third of July sort of deal. And then before that there’s the whole ‘Second of July’ thing. And for those who are incredibly patriotic- which Juneauites who have 70 Trash Eagles living in their city dump tend to be- then you can start celebrating on the first. So by the time the fourth hits, some of us dedicated patriots are collectively on a firework and booze fueled bender. Meaning that at 6:30 am on July Fourth (~thirty minutes shy of our busiest work day of the season~), everyone’s only real concern involved the business hours of McDonalds.
I was especially anxious because of a story that I’d heard recently about the local McDonalds. There is only one fine location here in what I’ve heard the radio refer to as “the most livable capitol city.”
********** Footnote (except the kind in the middle of a paragraph): a) most livable for who? bears *high five* b) how is it the most livable city with but one fast food locale?
**********Footnote 2: To explain this McInteresting story I’m going to rely on guide facts. I want to be upfront with you all: guide facts are between 21% and 23% accurate at any given moment. Meaning it takes incredible intellect and attention to detail to be a guide.
McDonalds came to Juneau 15 years ago (See, I made up that number. This is what I mean by ‘guide facts’) Juneau is not attached to any other town or city by road. Everything that gets here, including McNuggets (not to be confused with ‘gold nuggets’) needs to be shipped or flown in. So Ronald McDonald, as he set up shop, sent up food that was to last the hungry people of Juneau a month. Within TWO DAYS it was gone. Not a single french fry left. People had come from all over, flying in sea planes, to stock up on that tasty McMeal.
Knowing that story filled me with anxiety only on the morning of the fourth (because did they account for the holiday when they flew in that last batch of Egg McMuffins??) Besides that, the story was deeply soothing. I felt as though I had come home. I was now a part of a collective people who related as strongly to McDonalds as I do. Those of you who have followed this humble and hard-hitting journalistic blog from the beginning may know some of the many stories about how Micky D’s has always been a shining light in a sea of dreariness for me. It is so closely related to my journey that I think of those golden arches as a metaphor. In fact, McDonalds is now promoting something called “Archways to Success” and I couldn’t agree more. I relate physically, mentally, and spiritually to that slogan. At the very least it’s better than their other promotion which reads: “Make Summer Creamier.” That one’s harder for me to get behind.
Either way, McDonalds once again gave me the strength I needed to fight through another busy holiday weekend. And for that, I’m McThankful* (pronounced *Mc-Obe-se*)
