Normalising Feedback

From Politeness to Radical Candor

Local Gov is generally not very strong in handling feedback and performance.

During my recent one-on-one meetings and check-ins with product and project teams, I’ve noticed a tendency for us to be overly polite, causing us to delay raising issues and hold back on providing feedback, especially in situations involving cross-disciplinary and cross-service collaboration.

I’m intrigued by the barriers to effective feedback and how we can make it a normal part of our interactions, both in terms of giving and asking for it. Fortunately, the kind and supportive culture we have fostered so far provides an excellent foundation for making feedback the new normal.

Feedback is hard

Feedback can be difficult for several reasons. In our weekly Product Open House discussions, the team highlighted some insightful barriers:

1. The desire to be liked, as feedback might be perceived as a negative experience.
2. The reluctance to upset or offend others.
3. Uncertainty about how the recipient will perceive the feedback, fearing it will be taken as personal criticism.
4. Concern that additional feedback might add stress to someone who is already self-critical.
5. Doubt whether our feedback is valid due to imposter syndrome (e.g., “What do I know?”).
6. Feeling that our opinions lack authority or does not matter (e.g., “Who am I to say these things?”).
7. The challenge of delivering feedback effectively, finding the right approach, language or time.

My relationship with feedback

Reflecting on my own relationship with feedback, I recognize that growing up in China, I became accustomed to coded language and social norms where preserving others’ dignity and avoiding awkwardness were paramount. ‘Giving face’ 给面子 (Gei Mian Zi) is an important thing in social interaction. It’s an act of not making other people feel awkward, silly, embarrassed or disgraceful.

It took me time, both during my education and professional career, to develop the ability to say what I think. Challenging someone directly does not come natural to me.

When I came to the UK to study design at the Royal College of Art, I was exposed to critical thinking which has taught me to question and learn with an open mind. As a designer, I’ve come to appreciate the invaluable gift of feedback from people I work with and people I design for. These feedback makes my work better and more purposeful.

I’ve experienced those uncomfortable moments before providing feedback to others. I’m especially grateful to my colleagues, who have become friends, previously at FutureGov, now in Greenwich. Through mutual feedback, we’ve developed strong connections and bonds.

Making ‘feedback’ work for me

Although feedback is hard, I learned that it’s possible for me to grow out of the culture and past which partly shaped how I operate.

To say what I think requires a significant amount of self-awareness and tailoring my message to the person without compromising my intent. The safer I feel within a relationship or work environment , the more honest and open I can be.

I truly value the relationships and individuals in my life who provide me with honest feedback. I constantly remind myself that feedback is not personal, but rather an opportunity to listen and build mutual empathy.

Therefore I tend to ask questions and tell others what I see, think and feel honestly. For me, reframing feedback involves asking the question:

How might we treat feedback as an opportunity to learn rather than to teach and go into it with a curious mindset to explore the strengths, gaps and opportunities of each other and the context we are part of?

Feedback plays a crucial role in shaping a high-functioning and happy team

I recognising the growing urgency to normalise feedback within our product team as we mature.

• Feedback makes our work more impactful. To be the teams that can learn and adapt fast, we have to normalise feedback from both people we design for and those we collaborate with.
• Feedback helps individuals grow and foster meaningful connections. When we are more honest with ourselves and with each other, we can be freer with giving direct feedback and taking feedback with grace. Feedback gives us a chance to listen, to build empathy and to collaborate better. We see and be seen. We create bonds, trust and shared knowledge. We share goals.
• Moreover, feedback ensures that we stay on track. When we fail to provide feedback or when feedback is missing from our collective work, there will often be a compound effect of ‘missing the target’ and not achieve our intended outcomes. This drift can lead to higher cost, strained relationship, gossip, and a prevailing sense of mistrust.
• Considerate feedback is one of the greatest gifts we can offer to those we care about. As leaders or managers, feedback and clarity are essential acts of kindness. When leading through others, our focus is often on influencing people, purpose, and practices. Feedback that clarifies expectations and dispels misconceptions often should not be underestimated.

Practicing Radical Candor

Alex Sturtivant has helpfully summarised 10 tips from the book Radical Candor which I would like to practice:

1. Tell the people you’re working with that you want to practice radical candor.
2. Start by asking for feedback, not giving it out.
3. Create some go-to questions for inviting feedback. (Specific questions can be more effective than asking if someone has any feedback.)
4. Embrace the uncomfortable silence when asking for feedback: wait at least 6 seconds.
5. Always reward feedback — even if you don’t agree with it!
6. Act fast.
7. Use the SBI framework:​ Situation​, Behaviour​, Impact.
8. Don’t personalise feedback.
9. Make your feedback short and share it as soon as possible
10. Praise in public. Challenge in private.