The Casualty of an Abobo
What does it look like for someone to unquestionably internalize all of the ideals of the modern feminist movement? To be specific, the white feminist movement.
Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie’s cold cut definition of a feminist is “the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.” This particular definition does not immediately include race, but race and the attached racial politics of existing are an important part of feminism. For a lot of modern women, it also comes with stances on choice, sex positivity, and the belief that they are entitled to more. Margaret Sanger wrote that “No woman can call herself free who does not control her own body,” an ideology that fuels Planned Parenthood to this day. White feminism takes those ideas and ignores the voices, experiences, and needs of women of color. Sanger understood women’s rights, but she didn’t understand women of color. Her contributions are tainted by allegiances with the eugenics school of thought.
In 2016, 10 stories in which a woman had an abortion were told. Of those, one was in a cartoon, and 2 were about women of color. You’re the Worst is a show that “centers on two toxic, self-destructive people who fall in love and attempt a relationship.” It has effectively covered topics like clinical depression, grief, and PTSD. In regards to abortion, show creator and executive producer, Stephen Falk, who identifies as a feminist and follows the “feminist agenda” says, “I like to believe that our show operates in a feminist space, and not only that, in a space where that is just presumed, that that’s not a choice or decision or stance, but that is the norm.”
I am specifically labeling Lindsay Jillian’s story as a white feminist story because of the privilege the character was given in making this decision and carrying it out. “Most women who receive abortions are White, but Black women are five times more likely than White women to get an abortion.” Not enough stories about black (or other minorities) are told, especially not stories about abortion. This show takes place in California, a non-discrimination state with no TRAP laws. The Hyde Amendment, a federal law that does not allow federal money to fund abortions with few exceptions affects women “by causing them to delay procedures, by imposing additional financial strain on their already difficult economic situations and by forcing them to continue unwanted pregnancies.” Her abortion was so matter of fact and taken for granted, that they called it an ‘abobo’ and then they went to get pie. Her husband, Paul, is a banker. They live in a big house, have expensive hobbies, and seem to eat out almost every day. She doesn’t love him, but she loves their lifestyle.
Kether Donohue is a cisgender white woman who plays Lindsay on You’re the Worst. In the third season of the show she has an abortion because she does not want to be with her husband anymore. She doesn’t think of herself as a feminist. She does think of herself as an ‘awesome sex fox,’ a ‘cockaholic’ and a recovering skank.
The first time the term “abobo” was used on the show, it was by another female character, Gretchen, as she was cyber stalking some old friends. “I can’t believe she’s pregnant again. What a dummy. I wonder how much an abobo even cost these days.” Upon seeing said friend again, she offers to drive to a center she knows of where you can just walk in. It’s crass and cavalier, and said by a beautiful, rich white woman.
The next time it came up, it was when Lindsay found out she was pregnant. At the time, Paul had left her for another woman. She was forced to learn how to take responsibility for herself for the first time, so the pregnancy was an attempt to manipulate him into taking her back. Once she had decided to move on, she discovered she was pregnant. Her first instinct was to eat for two and plan for an abortion. However, when Paul finds out that she is pregnant he leaves his new girlfriend and convinces Lindsay to start a family. They introduce cuckolding into their relationship in an attempt to appease her cockaholism. Ultimately she decides that she doesn’t want to be with him anymore and to follow through on her abortion. She and Gretchen then engage in what seems like a ritual that they’ve done many times before, an abobo and Marie Callender’s.
As Lindsey walks in, she begins to have second thoughts about losing her family with Paul. Anti-abortion protesters can be seen circling the area, and one approaches her to presumably attempt to convince her to change her mind. Gretchen sees them talking and yells “Don’t let those goddamn assholes talk you out of your legal right!” She reassures Lindsay that she will support her no matter what and she then walks into the health center proudly. Gretchen stays behind and tries to rub it in the woman’s face (“Bam! Nice try terrorists. Another victory for women’s rights.”) To her bewilderment, the woman says, “Actually, I was going to tell her to do it. In my book, there are extenuating circumstances: rape, incest and whatever this is.”
Afterwards, Lindsay eats pie and drinks strawberritas. Gretchen questions how she’s feeling but she’s fine. It’s good pie. When confronted by Paul, who is shocked and hurt, she merely says ‘My body, my choice,’ and repeats it like a mantra.
Yes it is important to tell abortion stories and to normalize the decision. It’s a genuine choice for women that find themselves with child. This episode was breathtaking in its portrayal of abortion as an errand. But it’s important to remember all of the factors that allowed for Lindsay to be able to do that.
Lindsay had an abortion. It took her less than a day. She did it with the assumption that when she left him, the prenup would give her spousal support. “I had a ticket to 18 years of dough and you let me flush my ticket. Now I have to get a stupid job.’ Money wasn’t an issue. Her friend Gretchen supported her and drove her. Paul and Lindsay divorce at the end of the season and he takes joy in offering her very little spousal support. She has to get her own apartment but in her last scene she’s smiling, relieved. She was not affected by the obstacles that may women face when trying to get an abortion in the United States.
