Being Creative

Why does it feel so difficult?

It is apparent that I have a slight case of impostor syndrome as I enter the second semester of a master’s in design. It is inevitable to feel this way as a graduate student, I know. But as we dive deeper into what is and is not a designer, one concept keeps coming up like a incessant drumbeat: Be creative. Be creative. Be creative.

When I was little, it was a given. I would spend hours of entertainment with my friends in the playground, inventing new worlds. My artwork was abstract and daring. At some point, I was convinced that gorillas lived in the redwood forests of Sonoma county, and that I was the owner of invisible dinosaurs that I would tie up outside of daycare.

Honestly, that version of myself is most likely what led me to CMCI Studio in the first place. However, now it feels like I am chasing creativity, instead of the other way around. Every time I create something, I stare at it and think, is this was creativity looks like? Am I a creative designer, or just another cog in the iteration wheel?

I have no answers to these questions. Obviously as an adult, it would be worrisome to still have imaginary dinosaur friends. But as this semester progresses, I will attempt to bring out some of that confidence and innovation that a smaller version of me possessed. The likely conclusion is that, like many things, I am overthinking it.