I’m a Hot Mess — But You Don’t Have to be One

When I started grad school, I had a consistent morning routine. I rolled out of bed promptly at 7:00 am and went straight to the office. I used to walk there — rain or shine. Some days my commute was longer than others, but on average it took 10 seconds. That’s right, my commute was from the comfort of my bed to my desk in the living room. In the last month, my commute has become even more pathetic. The desk became the couch, and the couch became my bed.

I am tired. I am tired all the f***ing time. This morning I looked in the mirror, and I was like “Why is Medusa standing in front of me? Oh wait, that’s me. Is that a popcorn kernel in my hair?” (…quietly pull it out of my hair and into my mouth) “Yes, yes that is.”

Zits have taken over my face — I currently resemble crater face from Saved by the Bell. I have dead flowers and dishes piling up on my bedside table. I haven’t even seen my bedroom floor in weeks. And my mood swings can be compared to an overzealous toddler aggressively swinging a baseball bat at a piñata. I feel batsh!t crazy. Also, I haven’t showered since yesterday morning. I smell like a bad fart. Every night before I go bed, I thank God that my husband currently resides on the other side of the country…

So, in light of the hot mess that I have become, I dedicate this blog post to future and current grad students. Although I feel as though I am barely scraping by, here are some tips for surviving grad school.

1. Do not be a perfectionist.
   You will not survive grad school if you are a perfectionist. Now is the time to make mistakes. Embrace them and learn from them. Do not waste time obsessing over every mundane detail of your work. It will never be perfect.
2. Schedule time for yourself.
   You need time to decompress. Whether it’s reading a book, going to the gym, or cooking a homemade meal, take time to do the things you enjoy doing. It’s important to nurture your emotional well-being.
3. Socialize and maintain your relationships.
   Get your head out of the books and step away from the computer from time to time. Yes — school is important, but so are your relationships. Make time for them, even if it’s just a quick phone call or email.
4. Network, network, network.
   Take advantage of every opportunity to meet new people. Reach out to them on LinkedIn and make new connections. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and go to networking events. This will help you when you’re looking for a job after grad school.
5. Cut back on your day job.
   When you are in grad school, being a student is your job. If you do need to work, make sure your employer is flexible and can accommodate your schedule. I’m fortunate enough to be able to work from home and use flex-time. If you have the opportunity to focus solely on school, I hate you. Kidding, you can just buy me a coffee or brush my matted hair.
6. Hugging a baby or small puppy makes everything better.
   Grad school is hard. You will be an emotional mess from time to time. I have found that after pulling a 15-hour day between work, class, and homework, hugging my baby niece makes everything better. Even if she vomits on me, screams in my face, or yanks my hair out, she subtly reminds me that I will survive grad school (and will die later on).