The Curtain Closes.
This week marks the end of quite an adventure.
On Friday, August 7th, I’ll be done with a one-year graduate program at the University of Colorado, Boulder. I’ll be graduating with a Master of Arts in Strategic Communication Design. That sounds like quite a title; I’ll take a moment to give a quick summary of this program: it’s been a whirlwind of learning about collaboration, design thinking, and a multitude of tools that can help us both hone in on problems and ideate solutions. It’s been entirely project-based and has given us a glimpse of the whole design process from beginning to end. It’s been so fun, and even as it’s been stressful and chaotic and messy at times, I’ve loved getting to have this experience.
My life before this program looked a lot different. I had just completed my undergraduate degree in Seattle. I got a degree in theological studies, and I got a minor in individual and family development. In the long run, I want my life to center around connecting with people. I want whatever work I do to be work that makes people feel a little less lonely, or a little more aware of others, or make them feel like they’re part of something bigger than themselves. I think that’s what drew me to theology; I wanted to learn about how people have tried to make sense of their place in this wild and wonderful universe.
I wasn’t just focused on school, though. I worked with different on-campus groups to make events, and I led a weekly on-campus ministry. I do think that spending so much time working on these things led me to design. I was in charge of designing posters and social media, I helped to “check the pulse” of campus and figure out what kind of space we ought to create and what ought to be talked about in that space. We wanted to make sure all of our language, our physical spaces, and our online presence were completely inclusive. I think that working with this team every week made me realize how much I enjoyed the creation of things and eventually led me to the Studio here in Boulder. I’ve wanted to make people feel connected, seen, heard, and I realized that I could do that with my career.
When I got here, I had always thought of myself as a person who likes to make art, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe I was an “artist”. I have always loved to write, and I’ve competed in slam poetry competitions, but I struggled to even call myself a “writer”. Art had always felt like someone else’s forté. I loved making things for myself, and for friends, but I didn’t trust my own skills to be able to be really proud of myself or call myself an “artist”. I wasn’t confident enough to give myself these titles. When I came into this program, I felt absolutely bogged down in impostor syndrome.
All of these people felt so much adultier than me — they had been professionals, some had even been graphic designers or artists, and I was just there, fresh out of my undergraduate degree. These people knew more of the jargon and had work experience and life experience that I had not known yet. I couldn’t help but ask myself what on earth I was doing there. And honestly, I continue to have moments where I ask myself that, even now. It has taken me so long to simply call myself an UX Designer. The sinister whisper of impostor syndrome asks me time and time again if I have really earned it if I have the skills needed to do the job well. I began the year really unsure of my ability to contribute to all of our group projects. I didn’t trust my skills, and I didn’t know how to put myself out there to try and risk failure. This became one of the largest learning curves of this year, the process of learning to trust myself.
One of our required classes for the fall and spring semesters was called Critical Making. This class gave us some really cool opportunities to try our hand at code, at physical prototyping, at making something with Raspberry Pi, and so much more. I loved getting to learn even the basics of so many different technologies. Even though I did enjoy making physical objects in the fall semester, my favorite part of the program was when we got to learn about augmented and virtual reality in the spring semester. I will fully admit that I was not very good at it, but it was so fun nonetheless! My final project for that class was to build a small cube of the ocean that could be seen in augmented reality. It didn’t get that far, unfortunately, but I’m still really proud of what I was able to create! This class helped me to not give up when I didn’t get something right the first time, as I have a habit of getting frustrated when I’m not good at something on my first attempt. I had space to wrestle and figure out why something wasn’t working, and I got to learn how to fix it.
As this program has been focused on UX design, we got to focus a lot on the process of UX research. I didn’t realize that there were so many ways to learn about how users interact with websites and applications! I had no idea that heat maps even existed before this program, and I had never thought about how designers might test new layouts or design choices with A/B testing. It’s so fascinating! I love diving in to see how people think, and how people approach the new and the familiar. The whole UX research process, from user journeys to usability testing, has been so helpful to know about. Some of my favorite modules were those that encouraged us to dive into these processes, and it’s made me realize that I would actually love a job in UX research.
As we’ve neared the end of the program, I’ve had to learn how to be willing to speak up about my strengths. When I came into the program, I didn’t know how to trust myself. However, as we’ve been building our portfolios, I’ve had to actually name myself as an artist and as an UX Designer/Researcher. It hasn’t been easy to learn how to trust the work I’ve put in and the knowledge I’ve acquired. It feels so much easier to doubt myself, to hide, and to resort to self-deprecating humor. The reality is, though, that it’s really hard to get anyone else to be confident in me if I’m not confident in myself. It’s especially hard to get an employer to be confident in my skills if I can barely feel like I’m proud of the work I’ve done. So as easy as it feels in the present to let myself be timid and tentative, I’ve realized that I need to carry myself differently. This program has helped me get here, to a place where I can be confident in the work I do while also keeping myself open to constructive criticism and feedback. I’ve adopted a learning mindset, where I know there are always opportunities for growth, but I can look back and be proud of the growth I’ve already cultivated. This new mindset won’t just help me in my career, but in every other aspect of my life, too.
It has been so fun to learn how to collaborate with others in new ways. I have never used Post-It notes throughout my entire life as much as I have this year. I’ve loved getting to ideate with others in spaces where we all feel free to say our most ridiculous and outlandish ideas, and I’m so grateful that we’ve learned how to listen well to one another and build off of one another. I’ll admit that I had no idea what to expect from our Design Leadership classes, but I loved that we were able to have a space to learn about how we connect to others, how we communicate, and how we can lead teams in healthy and creative ways. I didn’t realize that there could be so many ways to collaborate that succeeded in inviting the best out of everyone on the team. I’m so grateful to have gotten to work with so many incredible people on so many projects this year.
So here is where the curtain closes. We are all here, after talking over Zoom calls for months, cheering each other on, stressing about portfolios and assignments and pitch feedback, and it’s all coming to an end. This year was nothing short of an adventure; we completed a Master’s degree in a year, in a pandemic. This adventure probably didn’t look how any of us had pictured it, but it’s been an adventure nonetheless. As we watch the curtain close and as we all find new paths to trek, I can’t be more grateful for this year.
I can’t wait to see what’s next.
