Let’s face it, the majority of us either A, love our phones B, need our phones or C, see our phones are a necessary ‘evil’.
The slim minority either still have a flip phone(how’s T9 word doing??)or don’t have any cellphone at all. I desperately wanted to be in the minority — but I had an inkling that I relied too heavily on instant gratification, navigation, social validation and a bunch more ‘tions’.
Ironically, I don’t take care of my phone. I’ve never had a case and I’ve never treasured my phone. It’s a tool, end of story — albeit a very expensive one.
Nevertheless, I dreamt of not needing a phone. Not having to be summoned or tethered by a device. To be free. Standing on a cliff and chucking my phone off the edge into oblivion. And for those whom don a tinfoil hat, not to be tracked, listened in on, and willfully ‘chipped’. Yea, I am talking about you NSA, NRO and other three letter government agencies.
It Begins
Well, it started with the first drop, and then a small chip on the edge of the phone. Eventually you get a small crack in the screen, and then you go to a trampoline park with your niece and you forget your phone is in your back pocket so you jump around and land on your butt a few times and then you leave said trampoline park and your phone has a nice subtly U shape to it.
But hey, it’s still works amirite? So you continue about your life with your character-riddled phone. Then you drop it a few more times and the screen starts to separate from the actual phone itself. Packaging tape to the rescue! Tape that sucker shut!
Then you really drop it and the whole screen shatters. More packaging tape!
So now your phone looks tired. This baby is starting to look like it’s seen some shit. That’s because it has. It’s been treated like a tool. It’s not a treasure, despite what Apple may have you believe.
Eventually, it happened. I dropped it one last time and 3/4 of the screen was black.
Time for a new phone, right? Hell no! We’re riding this thing into the ground. Through some experimentation, I’ve found all the possible ways to use your phone still, even if the screen is blasted.
Tip #1
Don’t EVER turn your phone off. Keep it charged. As long as you’ve activated Touch ID before your phone screen broke, you can still use Siri. This is the first and best workaround if you don’t want to replace your screen and you still want to use your phone. It’s a good challenge. With Siri you can open apps, make calls, have her read text messages, have her respond to text messages, etc. However, if your phone looses it’s charge and it turns off, you just made your life much harder. You can no longer use Siri and you need to enter your PIN before Siri can be re-activated. So your battery dying really puts you up shits-creek, if I am going to use the parlance of our time.
Tip # 2
If your battery does die, your phone now has become a beeper. Welcome back to 1990 you Fresh Prince you. However, there are still workarounds. If your car has bluetooth, you can still connect to your car and use voice commands to make phone calls. So in concert, your phone and your car are essentially now the 1990s ‘cool kid’ starter pack — a beeper and a phone booth. Sucks. I know. I’ve been here. But, it’s still a free alternative to replacing your phone.
Tip #3
You can still connect to Apple CarPlay, provided you haven’t been locked out by letting your batter die. Here you’ll have access to text, maps, phone, music, and podcasts. So again, your phone is essentially now just a computer and your car is your screen.
Yea.. I am hooked.
Watching your phone slowly deplete it’s utility is sort of rewarding. Knowing you are wringing out every drop of life. And secretly, I was hoping that this experience was going to ween me off my dependency on my golden tether. I was wildly mistaken. I am as dependent as everyone else. I am hooked.
I realize this is a lot of work when you could just go get a new screen or a new phone. But, if you are rubbing two nickels together, as most grad-school students are, money’s tight and hopefully these tips will help you out.
