WEEK TWO OF THE SHUT-DOWN IN BOULDER, CO
The Silver Lining of Social Distancing
What I didn’t expect would happen
Before I embarked on grad school, my sweetheart encouraged me to start a lifestyle blog. He claimed lots of people would be interested in my counter-current perspective on living a slower, simpler life. But I didn’t start that blog. And, ironically, in the last two weeks, everyone’s practicing that very slower, simpler life as a result of social distancing. As if I could start a trend….
When offices shut down, many adults heaved a sigh or relief. When schools and daycares shut down, on the other hand, the alarm bells began to ring. Late night comedians began commenting on the odd discoveries of living with your closest people. My own daycare has been sending daily activity ideas to help parents remember what to do with their children. It’s like we’ve all abruptly adopted homeschooling and tele-communing in one shot. And the adjustment was bound to be a shock!
At least so I thought on day one. But then I made some discoveries. My kids, who normally torment each other, are getting along. Whereas their play consistently needed parental involvement, it now has evolved into hours of novel make-believe and harmony. They’ve founded gymnastics tournaments, out-door markets, and a fort manufacturing company. It seems a little unstructured time leads to intense creativity. On the other hand, my sweetheart and I have had a chance to entertain full conversations, drink tea together, make plans, and shoot the breeze. And this is in conjunction with grad school and a job! We do this everyday now.
At the outset, I thought the worst of this change. All our plans were hindered. We were “stuck” at home, without company. American author Joyce Carol Oates claims that the greatest threat to your own abilities in not self-doubt; rather, it’s interruptions from other people. Similarly, while introverts are loving social distancing, I expected my social butterfly to die.
Oddly, it was a relief not to be prompted by the possibility of socializing without relent. My self-imposed life-style of extroversion was getting in the way of the peace I didn’t know we could access, were it not for the experience of social distancing.
This discovery brought me back to my earlier position on a simpler, quieter lifestyle. Years ago, I had began making conscious choices to accept only one kid’s birthday invite per week; enroll in fewer after-school activities, make time for nothing, avoid running errands on weekends…But it turns out there is even more to be found in a simpler, slower lifestyle…more peace and quiet, and much more connectedness. It’s like my mad race to socialize is “other people interrupting me”, as Oates claims. As we said over pancakes this morning, “it feels like Christmas break and we’ve been snowed in. It’s so cozy!”
