Woman, Interrupting: Letting Our Voices Be Heard in Business Settings
I love stories and I whole-heartedly believe in the power of myths, fables, folklore, and tall tales to illuminate important truths in enjoyable ways; I appreciate Joseph Campbell’s and Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ work for this reason. Stories are approachable, relatable, and as Patrick Lencioni, the author of the book I am going to mention puts it, stories “[allow] readers to learn more effectively by losing themselves in a story by being able to relate to the characters.” Lencioni’s book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, is profoundly important for teams and organizations of all kinds to assess their dysfunctional habits (no team is perfect) and overcome them. But what has stuck with me longer than the fictional tech company’s interesting dynamics or the Dysfunction Triangle the team works through on their retreats is one tiny conversation at the beginning of the book that is tempting to overlook, but in fact, is very powerful.
Kathryn is the protagonist of the fable, a seasoned professional taking over as CEO at a flailing technology company in Silicon Valley. There are many moments throughout the story where Kathryn’s prowess and finesse are awe-inspiring. But one conversation in particular is a favorite of mine. Kathryn has vetoed, in her kind but firm manner, a decision that another employee made and the Chairman of the Board, who brought Kathryn in for this position, has called her afterwork to discuss it. She calmly responds with confidence and assertiveness, while she is speaking, the Chairman cuts off her explanation with his own response. What she says next may not seem worthy of emoji praise hands or an astonished expression, but it was so powerful to me! She then interrupted him right back and says, “Hear me out. This is important.”
WOW.
From personal experiences to editorials and social media campaigns, it is a common experience for women to be over talked and interrupted, particularly in business or other professional settings. The message is that what we as women have to say is less valuable than what a man may want to express and that the interrupting man’s words must be more urgently expressed than what a woman is saying. It can be extremely frustrating…but maybe the answer isn’t to punish men for interrupting and shame them into stopping. Maybe more women should take Kathryn’s lead and interrupt their interrupters back.
She interrupted the Chairman politely, firmly, succinctly, and with a value statement that would be hard to dismiss: “This is important.” If someone expresses that what they have to say is important in the manner that Kathryn did, I imagine the likelihood of someone continuing to interrupt would be quite low. This is written so I don’t actually know her tone of voice, but the author wants us to know that Kathryn was calm and in control of her emotions as she asserted that her voice mattered and her words were valuable.
This is a simple sentence and I know not earth-shatteringly profound — but there is something about this interaction that touched me and I plan to keep this phrase in my toolbox the next time I’m interrupted unfairly.
Additional reading:
