13 Things I Wish My Cis-Straight Siblings in Christ Knew About the LGBTQ+ Community

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Dear Brothers and Sisters,

You told us that there is a ‘Homosexual Agenda’ and the LGBTQ+ Community wants to “make everyone gay.” I sat through being told that “homosexuals are perverts” and my orientation was even compared with pedophilia and bestiality on one occasion.

There is some stuff I wish you knew:

1. We can not make you LGBTQ+ because being our sexuality is not a choice.
2. I want you to understand that your propaganda against us; your rhetoric hurts LGBTQ+ people of faith, including myself.
3. Quit comparing same-sex relationships with pedophilia, bestiality, and polygamy.
4. There is no singular ‘homosexual lifestyle’ because every LGBTQ+ person is different. Our experiences are diverse.
5. Some of us don’t leave our churches because we want to. They leave because we, as the Church, have treated them as less than human. We want to be included in our faith communities.
6. Not all of us are promiscuous; a person’s sexual orientation does not define if they are promiscuous or not.
7. Also on that note, Bisexuality does not equal promiscuity and/or polyamory.
8. Quit describing us as ‘the homosexuals’. ‘Homosexual’ is extremely offensive to my generation. How about using queer (it offensive to an older generation so don’t use in mixed company) or LGBTQ+ Community in place of homosexual?
9. Never ask a Trans* person about their genitals. Do they ask about our genitalia? No, because that is none of our businesses to ask about each other’s genitalia.
10. Coming out is a sign of trust; we are not obligated to come out. So, please don’t ask us about our sexual orientations/gender identity.
11. The ‘gay agenda’ is actually false propaganda.
12. Don’t pretend to understand our experiences if you don’t understand. If you have questions, don’t be afraid to ask and listen to us.
13. Do not suggest Reparative Therapy; it doesn’t work. Every major psychological association has denounced it.

I write this to say that I am a gay and Christian. I had some good moments. But, the scars about what was said about me and people like me are also memorable. I am writing this because I want my Cis-Straight siblings in Christ to understand us.

I want to invite you to conversation and to listen to my story. I am not going to try to change your stance because that is not my job (Only God can do that). I challenge you to think about your words because they can put the lives and faiths of LGBTQ+ people on the line.

Reaching Out is a publication dedicated to gathering LGBTQ stories from people of all faiths under one roof and around one table.

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