The Paris Wife
“My life was my life. I would have to stare it down, somehow, and make it work for me.” Hadley Richardson, The Paris Wife
Ernest Hemingway has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember. He’s one of those authors that’s introduced fairly early on in your literary journey, because “you don’t need a dictionary to read Hemingway”. His work is accessible and relatable to all types of readers from all walks of life. As a toddler, I often admired a portrait of my grandfather that we lovingly referred to as his Hemingway, due to the artistic nature of the photo as well as the white scruffy beard and the often adorned fisherman’s cap. In my own home, there were collectors editions of some of Mr. Hemingway’s greatest works upon my father’s bookshelves. When I was 13, I began attending a new school. Before school began, we were instructed to read The Old Man and the Sea. I may have been the only one that was actually excited for summer reading. If only I had carried that excitement into the rest of the school year, I might have gotten better grades. In summary, Hemingway was everywhere. But I honestly never took the time to look at his life. Infamous as some of his personal endeavors were, I was completely blind to the world of Hemingway. Nor did I think once about the wives he had or the children they bore. The only thing that ever came to mind other than his writing were images in my brain of six toed cats prancing around in the Key West sunshine. And I’ve never even been to Key West. But Paula McLain changed all of that. With this enticing, historical fiction, she has sparked a new found obsession for the life and times of Hemingway’s first wife, Elizabeth Hadley Richardson.
“Maybe happiness was an hourglass already running out, the grains tipping, sifting past each other. Maybe it was a state of mind — as Nora Bayes insisted — a country you could sculpt out of air and then dance into.” Hadley, The Paris Wife
When I begin reading a novel based on truths I usually know what the outcome of the story will be, but in most cases I’m always rooting for things to turn out differently. For this reason, my soul was twisted, broken and repaired on multiple occasions while reading this book. And still, weeks later, I feel deep aching holes that I don’t know how to fill. You’d think knowing the ending would do more to prepare your heart…but it really doesn’t.
A quick summary for you before we dive into some of my biggest emotional takeaways. I’ll say “spoiler alert” but I don’t know that it’s 100% necessary since this is based on historical happenings. The Paris Wife is told from the point of view of Hadley Richardson, Ernest Hemingway’s first wife. Hadley was raised in St. Louis, MO. As a child, she was described as being free spirited and head strong, but after falling out of a window at a young age and becoming bedridden for an extended period of time, her mother became overly protective and Hadley became more reserved and sickly. Her father committed suicide when she was about 11 years old due to financial difficulty. This event, understandably created deep grief and sadness in the home, which lead to deeper resentment and strained relationships between her mother and sisters. Hadley met Ernest on a trip she took to Chicago, to visit college friends, shortly after her mother’s death. Ernest was a World War I veteran from Oak Park, IL. He’d survived a gun shot wound in the war and was an aspiring writer. They married less than a year after they met, against the protests of friends and family, and quickly moved to Paris, where they lived a simple life, and Ernest set off on his journey to becoming one of the most influential writers of his time. You’ll recognize the names of many of their Paris ex-pat friends and mentors, Gertrude Stein, Ezra Pound and F. Scott Fitzgerald, just to name a few. Hadley and Ernest went on so many adventures together, they lived active lives and loved the outdoors, often spending their winters skiing in Switzerland and Germany, and summers in Spain to witness the Running of the Bulls, their travels to Pamplona ultimately become the events that shape his first acclaimed novel, The Sun Also Rises. As their family grows, Hadley, befriends a wealthy American woman named, Pauline Pfieffer. This friendship lead to betrayal when Ernest began an affair with Pfife(Pauline). After months of trying to work through the infidelity, the marriage dissolves. The book ends decades after these incidents occur, Hadley receives the news that Ernest has died by suicide. Just as her own father and his had lost their lives. A dark and speedy ending to a life full of suffocated fears and sorrow.
One of the biggest things that stuck out to me throughout this book was the struggles that Ernest and Hadley both have with their mental health. Hadley, mentions early on that she spent a whole summer living on the edge, honestly not caring if she lived or died. She took a row boat out into the ocean during a storm and secretly hoped that it never returned to shore. Ernest, fought in a war, survived a gun shot wound and clearly struggled with some PTSD. Both of them lost a parent to suicide, which statistically increases their chances of dying by suicide. There’s a chapter written from his point of view, that occurs shortly after his affair with Pfife is found out, where he details all of the ways he has thought to kill himself. This was during a time when mental health wasn’t addressed, you didn’t talk to people about your fears, but they all knew it was there, bubbling under the surface. On the first night of their marriage he tells Hadley that he always keeps a light on when he sleeps, to keep the darkness away. Ernest Hemingway was obsessed with death. That was his biggest draw in going to see the bulls in Pamplona year after year. And probably why he continually seeks comfort in a new woman, a new place, a new experience, a bottle. In the words of Mr. Lin Manuel Miranda “He will never be satisfied.”
“There it was. Did you see it?” Ernest said, pointing into the ring. “What?” “His death. The bull was so close. That’s what makes the dance of it. The torero has to know he’s dying and the bull has to know it, so when it’s pulled away at the last second, it’s like a kind of magic. That’s really living.”
I’m taken by the portrayal of their marriage. They truly were everything to each other, they knew every longing, every secret. They knew each other. It makes the destruction of their marriage that much more painful to watch. You can see the truth in Hadley’s sadness, it’s not the physical betrayal that plagued her and caused the ultimate fallout. It’s the emotional betrayal, Ernest’s need to bring Pfife along with them on their trips, his inability to be away from her without longing not just for her body but for her soul.
“People belong to each other only as long as they both believe. He stopped believing.” Hadley
The ending of this book left me feeling so empty. I so badly wanted there to be a happy ending. I genuinely believe that Hadley was Ernest’s soul mate, his favorite wife. She saw him through the beginning, she supported him, she loved him, and I think he gave her the best of himself. And in return, he helped her be brave. He helped her find adventure again, he led her back to herself after years of emotional abuse from her mother beat her down. But it wouldn’t have been healthy for either of them to stick it out in the end, they needed more from life then they could give each other.
“Tatie was dead. There was nothing Paul could possibly do for me except let me go — back to Paris and Pamplona and San Sebastian, back to Chicago when I was Hadley Richardson, a girl stepping off a train about to meet the man who would change her life. That girl, that impossibly lucky girl, needed nothing.” Hadley
I would recommend this book, without a doubt, but please don’t go into it hoping for a light hearted experience. Prepare to have your soul rattled, your heart shattered and a fairly constant feeling of despair for these restless, wandering, brave, souls.
What’s up next?
I’m compelled to stick to a theme here and move onto a book that was one of many epicenters in The Paris Wife. Can you guess what it is?
If you guessed The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, you’d be correct! I’m really excited to jump into this classic and see some more of the world through Hem’s eyes. Hope you can join me!
