4 Things That Five Years Living Abroad Has Taught Me
There are treasures always waiting on our way
1. Forget about the reasons and goals, focus on the process
In most stories with The Hero’s Journey Model, the story always begins with a sudden change or event that disrupts the main character, making him or her have to go on the adventure.
For me, it was nothing. My life was not perfect, but it was not miserable either. Looking back now, there was no reason for me to leave.
So when people ask me how I came up with the idea of studying abroad in Taiwan, I always answer: “I don’t know.”
It was as if the fleeting thoughts from my subconscious had emerged into consciousness, and I chose to trust my intuition. I just know that I want to start a new journey, but I don’t know what the reason is. And that makes me even more eager to do it.
Do we really need a reason to start doing something? If we want to do it, just do it. I realized that the answer will most likely lie in the journey you take, or at the end of the road. We’ll realize when it’s time. And perhaps at that time, the reasons were no longer important. The only meaningful thing is the process.
2. Friends in life will come and go, and that’s normal
Living abroad means leaving friends back home. One day, you will realize that the people who were once very close to you now rarely talk to you. And it is difficult to accept the fact that the people closest to us will no longer be so familiar.
However, there is no right or wrong; there is nothing to fix. Simply because each person’s life has turned in different directions, we cannot go back to the way it was before.
I have never held on to somebody because I did not feel right doing so. If they have to leave, then I will let them go. The only thing I will do is wish my friends happiness, no matter where they are or what they are doing.
People may leave, but memories will stay. As long as we have treated each other well in the past, we will always think well of each other in the future. That is enough.
3. Learn to be alone so we can love ourselves
During those lonely days without relatives or friends, the only person who was always by my side was myself.
So I was forced to learn how to be alone.
I will eat alone, walk in the park alone, shop alone, and celebrate my birthday alone. Do everything alone.
But then I realized this was also the first step in learning to love myself. How can we love ourselves when we can’t even bear to face ourselves?
I know some people will always have to turn on music and TV in the house because they are afraid of silence. Some people scroll through their phones even when going to the toilet. Turn to things like alcohol, stimulants, or sex, or do the craziest things just because they can't stand themselves.
If we cannot be alone, it proves that our relationship with ourselves is in trouble. We have to find a way to fix things. Otherwise, there is no way we can have good relationships with others.
In the end, the only person who is always with us anytime, anywhere; understands all our hurts and insecurities; and witnesses all the difficulties and challenges we have overcome is also ourselves. So why not treat that person kindly?
4. Our thoughts are our limits
When I applied for a permit to work part-time during my second year in Taiwan, all I thought about was working as a restaurant server or a barista in a milk tea shop. Or working as a salesperson for a certain clothing or shoe shop in the night market.
One day, an acquaintance who had worked for a long time in Taiwan asked me why I didn’t apply to be a translator or work for a company to gain richer work experience. I was hesitant and didn’t know how to answer. Should I say that I’m afraid that people won’t accept a student who has no formal work experience, or should I say that I’m afraid that my Chinese ability is not enough to work in a demanding environment and more professional, like in companies?
However, if my acquaintance says so, it means I have a chance. So a few months later, I quit my job at the restaurant and started looking for a new job. I had to sit at home for a while and accept that my income fluctuated greatly. But luck finally smiled, I found my first office job and worked there for a year and a half.
When I no longer limit myself, I realize I can achieve more than I thought, as long as I try. I applied for a scholarship from Coursera so I could get two certificates from Google on “Digital marketing & E-commerce” and “Data Analytics”. Thanks to that, I found my current job, my second office job in Taiwan.
Thoughts can completely liberate or imprison us. To do great things, we must dare to think big, even though those thoughts can scare us to death.
Similar to humans who placed half a foot on the moon just by daring to think about walking on it. We have also fulfilled 50% of our dreams if only we dared to dream.
