Decency in discourse
Image generated with AI by author.
I went through a period of fear. I feared being offensive to people I knew and grew up with. I was terrified of hurting people’s feelings or making them feel bad. I hid my thoughts and dumped them on the poor, trusted few I had in my life. Thought dumping seems to be a cross I perpetually bear.
Unfortunately, I went through a period of disregard as well. I thought carelessly, throwing my thoughts with harsh language would squash the old, timid me. Unfortunately, it made me insufferable and, much to my shame, cruel to myself and others. I’m sure my words caused damage, but I was too careless to recognize it. Anger was the yin to the yang of my fear.
I now seek to stay in a period of decency. I have some firmly held beliefs, but there are some things I’m unsure of. As I flesh them out, speak them out, and think them out, I aspire to decency. I love controversy, I love spirited debate, and I love defending my ideology. But most of all, I love decency. It turns out that knot my stomach used to be tied up tightly in was due to a yearning. Not for acknowledgment, not for winning, not even for being right. Just for a faithful companion to my ideas. Decency.
As I continue to grow and change, I know some ideas will fall away, but I don’t think my love for decency will be one of them. It is becoming a balancing force and a trusted friend. It brings me joy and helps me rest. I don’t need to be right anymore, but I want to be decent.
