Food Should Be Eaten Together To Be Enjoyed
Is eating together the glue that binds memories?
Growing up, my mother did this thing where every week, she made a meal like Abacha, which is easy to eat with someone else, then, she would pour the food into a big tray, call my siblings and me, and make all six of us eat together.
The food was always enough for all of us so, we had no reason not to relax and eat together. Sometimes, we nitpicked each other’s eating habits:
“Slow down, where are you rushing to?” Someone will ask another while the next person says, “Stop talking while eating”.
As kids, my mother would say, “You are siblings, eat together. It bonds you. No matter what happens, you must always love and trust the people you are eating from this tray, with”. It was almost like a — prayer. I think we never would have even questioned why we had to eat together because in our culture, sitting together to enjoy each other’s company while sharing food and drinks, is just — common.
As adults, half of us live in different countries outside Nigeria and the other half live in different states within the country, making communal eating impossible. But, my siblings and I do share unique bonds. We don’t always get along but if it comes down to it, I think we can count on each other. I do not think it is all because we ate together. I think that eating together and hearing my mother’s wish for us, kept the belief that we can count on each other, in our hearts.
These days, I often eat at least one meal a day with my four-year-old. Training her to eat by herself was the start of, “Mummy, let’s eat together”. I don’t always enjoy the process as it is mostly messy but it does make her happy eating with me so, I am learning to focus on that joy rather than her food-stained clothes and food crumbs around the table and floor after we get done.
I do not know another time I would eat together with all my siblings. If we could come together, I sometimes wonder if the wear and tear in our relationship would let us sit together and eat from another tray. Maybe. Not.
But, eating with my daughter keeps this particular memory from my childhood alive — all six of us eating, laughing, nitpicking and just being, together. I do not have to like the food-stained clothes and food crumbs but maybe all I need to do is focus on the joy, the bonding, the togetherness, and maybe… maybe, that is all that matters.
Thank You So Much For Reading.
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