If You Also Can’t Poop Without Your Phone, This One’s For You
A digital detox for the easily distracted — primarily millennials
Be honest — when’s the last time you went to the bathroom without your phone? Sometimes, it feels like I’m missing a limb, not kidding y’all.
If you can’t remember, we’ve got a problem.
Is There A Problem?
We’re millennials. We grew up with the damn internet under our fingers. We got our first social media profile when “followers” meant kids you awkwardly shared a playground with.
ANYONE REMEMBER MYSPACE?
Technology? It’s basically our lifeblood. We don’t remember a world without Wikipedia drama, Netflix binges, or getting into 3-day text fights with people that, looking back, absolutely did not matter.
That “digital detox” thing all the wellness gurus preach? At first, it sounds a little…extra.
Do I really need to go camp in the woods without Wi-Fi to be a balanced human?
Can’t I just turn off notifications and call it a day?
I love posting questionable memes as much as the next person. Memes are our love language, after all.
But lately, that little glowy rectangle thing? It’s starting to feel a bit suffocating.
The constant scroll
The comparison trap
The endless stream of news
So depressing it makes you need a second phone just to distract yourself from your first phone LOL
And the worst part? We know it’s all a bit silly. But somehow, we can’t tear ourselves away. It’s a digital doom spiral.
Why “Focus” is the New Millennial F-Word
Alright, enough doom and gloom. Time for a reality check, delivered in classic millennial self-deprecating humor because it’s how we cope:
we have the attention span of caffeinated squirrels.
Ask me how I know 😑 Sometimes I blame it on “mom brain,” but lately, I have to write (or type) everything down because I forget. So. Fast.
Now I blame it on the 8 second attention spans thanks to the digital things.
Remember Tamagotchis? We all swore up and down that we’d keep those virtual pets alive but they’d be dead within three days.
Our brains are now wired for a digital version of that — fleeting stimulation that vanishes the second we blink.
Okay, We Might Have A Problem…But We Got This
Yes, there’s a tiny (giant) chance we have a problem. And a full-on digital wilderness retreat is probably unrealistic (unless that retreat has good coffee and spotty Wi-Fi at best).
Although, I might be convinced if it’s a kid-free retreat 👀
But we’re resourceful! We invented those little fidget spinners, or whatever — we can handle this. 💪🏽
It’s time for a new kind of challenge, not the ice bucket kind, a different one that will actually boost our mental health instead of giving us frostbite.
Sorry, I’m not anti-ice bucket challenge. I just… really, really hate the cold.
Some Solutions, If You’re Willing
You don’t necessarily have to abandon your beloved devices (well, not entirely).
It’s about taking back control.
It’s about those little pauses before automatically launching Instagram or doom-scrolling the news — the time when we think
“Hang on, what am I actually doing?”
You wouldn’t eat chips for every meal because those fluorescent orange Dorito crumbs give a fleeting moment of joy. Your brain (and stomach) deserves better.
Same goes for your mind. It craves actual human connection.
Maybe a sunset without an artsy filter.
Or a moment of real boredom because that’s how the best ideas happen anyway.
Here’s how to feed your mind:
- The Pomodoro Technique: No, it has nothing to do with tomatoes. Set a timer for focused periods (25 mins is popular) with zero phone distractions.
Then, short breaks with your phone as a “reward”. There are even cute apps that turn this into a game! I found a couple for you.
This one is so cute! I’m tempted to get it. (Sorry Android people, I have iPhone 😬)
Ok, I’m a plant nerd so I love this. It’s 4 bucks, but looks worth it!
2. Phone-Free Zones: Your bedroom? Maybe. The Bathroom? Even better! The dinner table? Off-limits.
Start small, and enjoy fully experiencing those spaces without the buzz of notifications.
3. Mindful Replacements: Instead of reaching for your phone out of habit, have a few analog options ready.
Sketchbook, crossword puzzle, or that book you keep meaning to read. Those first few minutes might feel weird, but push through them!
Ditch The Distractions
Remember, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about little digital breaks that add up.
And who knows, we might actually reclaim our attention spans and get to read more than just tweet (X?) threads without losing focus halfway through.
Now, excuse me, I’ve got to put my phone down and attempt to make real-life eye contact with my toddlers. Wish me luck 🍀
So what about you? What tiny steps will you do to take back your focus?
Thanks for reading!
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Til next time!
