Member-only story
Pick Your Battles, Save Your Relationships
Let love be the driving force for actions
My friend Hana was out of sorts at tennis. We play recreational games that are meant to be fun. It’s the time we carve out for ourselves for self-care, the goal is to channel our energy in a positive way that feeds our mind, body, and soul. Tennis is meditation for me, but I digress.
At a changeover, Hana shared the reason why she was distracted, and as she started to share her story, she became visibly upset about the issue bothering her.
Hana is from China, and her son married a woman from the Dominican Republic. They had a beautiful and healthy girl baby a few months back. Hana was excited and overflowing with joy in becoming a grandparent and spoke so fondly of her grandbaby over the last few months.
But today Hana shared that she hasn’t slept well in three days because she’s been fighting and arguing with her daughter-in-law over the decision to include her Spanish last name for the baby. Hana assumed that their Chinese family name would be the baby’s last name, but her daughter-in-law wanted to follow her Latin American customs and use the maternal family name. Hana’s Chinese family name became the middle name for the baby.
