Personal Essay
Something Lacking In Me
That I never felt before age 32
I do things that give me joy but underneath it all there is a sense of dissatisfaction and yearning. I feel I have nothing to look forward to anymore. A bit like it’s all downhill from here and I so don’t want it to be this way.
Why can’t I just be grateful and not want more? But I seem to be wired to want more from life.
I hesitate to even put this out there as many would say I have a lot to be grateful for and they are correct, technically.
I know I have but I can’t shake this feeling. I need to write about it to hopefully analyse why I feel this way. To get past it.
Perhaps someone out there can relate and tell me this is something they feel too.
Or is this the nature of Homo sapiens? The constant need to be better for survival.
The nature of being human with our ever-pondering minds that are wired to never be content.
No longer carefree
Why I mention age 32?
Before that I was carefree. I had my beloved Papa with me. I also wasn’t experiencing the lack of freedom related to finances. I had financial independence and thought I would always have it. It makes me…
