The Art of Feeling Deeply
The power of vulnerability.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
-Mae West
I had a conversation with a friend who told me how afraid she is to feel deeply and connect after her first and only relationship.
She confessed that when she starts having feelings for a boy, she pushes herself to find all the negatives in him so she can “unfeel.” When she can’t, she punishes herself with solitude.
I understand. My first relationship cost me many sleepless nights, tears, and countless broken pieces. But it also gave me fast heartbeats and a sense of aliveness I had never experienced before.
When we broke up, I was devastated. I decided to be cold and cruel and to never fall for anyone ever again. But fortunately, life doesn’t work that way, and I wasn’t able to do that. I feel a lot, and too deeply.
I thought I would never fall in love again, but that was a misconception. It’s true that we never relive the same feelings or experience the same relationship, but we can fall in love again, more times than we think.
Each time will be better than before because we live our lives subjectively, and as we change, so does our perception of life.
It’s not possible for people not to feel. Being human means experiencing the big feelings. It’s part of the circle of life: the lust, the love, the loss – all of it to the fullest.
So I told my friend that she should stop punishing herself because something didn’t work out as she hoped. It’s okay. She shouldn’t deny herself the opportunity to truly live just because of fear.
We must let ourselves feel everything; there is no guilt in feeling.
And then she said something very interesting. She said, “I can’t. It’s like there is a window between me and other people. I don’t really know how to connect, how to freely and deeply feel.”
I looked at her and said, “It’s about the relationship you have with yourself. To truly let yourself be free means that you must first trust yourself. Trust that whatever happens, you will be there for you. That if you fall, the person you become in the process will catch you. And that whatever happens – the good, the bad – you will turn it into art. After all, that’s what life is about: to experience and create, to transform every experience into something bigger and better.”
This is a reminder to everyone who needs it: Feel the big feelings. Just live, truly live, and enjoy the ride. It will not last forever.
If you’ve reached the end, thank you! Your support means a lot. Feel free to drop a comment and share your thoughts – let’s chit-chat about anything you wish! :)
