CHRISTMAS
Why Do Parents Want Children to Believe in Santa Claus So Much?
Based on a True Story
1:04 AM.
I write about Christmas.
Is it the Christmas spirit that keeps me awake?
No, I’m not going to lie to you. It’s just that the 9-month-old dwarf next to me decided he wanted to play “how nice it is to pull mommy’s hair when she’s sleepy” and as a result, this “shaggy” story idea poured out of my head.
My Personal Story With the Resolution of the Santa Claus Myth
I was 6 when I found out that Santa didn’t exist. While I was opening various cupboards and different things in the house, I accidentally found… what I had wished for Christmas — a plush pink rabbit.
I repeat — a rabbit, not a unicorn (they weren’t fashionable back then), and yes — pink, because… that’s the most normal color for a rabbit… for a girl.
What did I do? I left the rabbit where it was and the next morning pretended to be surprised to get it.
You’re probably going to say, “Ah, you little actress!” but what else could I do? I was a practical child — whether the gift was from Mum and Dad or the White-Bearded Old Man didn’t matter.
What mattered was the rabbit! In the years ahead, I don’t remember how much we banked on the idea that I would get a present if I was good. I wasn’t a very naughty child anyway, and threats that I might be left without a present found no application.
Nowadays, however, millions are poured in to preserve the great illusion called Christmas. The Christian world has a long mixed tradition with pagan beliefs so that the holiday can generate revenue and industries can develop to fuel our consumer society.
And before you think I’m someone who hates Christmas, I’ll return to the subject of Santa Claus, because it’s the one that excites me at 1 a.m., precisely because of the already sleeping dwarf next to me, and because of the other one who’s already 5.
Santa — Superman
As parents, it often happens that we lose our authority in front of our children. They become uncontrollable and naughty and we wonder how to stop them.
And then along comes Santa Claus — Superman, our savior, who like Jesus Christ, appears as the means of tearing down our impetuous child.
“If you don’t listen, you won’t get a present for Christmas!”
“Do you think that kind of behavior would appeal to Santa and Snow White?”
“Someone may be left with a stone/charcoal for Christmas.”
I want to laugh, but I’ll hold back for the sake of the dwarf next to me.
Is this the best we are capable of as parents to get our children to respect us? Threats that the White Bearded Old Man will miss coming down the chimney (never mind that those of us who live in an apartment don’t have a chimney…).
And if that might have a certain impact during part of the year, what are we to do the rest of the year? To threaten with the lack of an Easter Bunny or that the Tooth Fairy won’t come?
All of this definitely shifts the focus of the real intent of Christmas.
We are turning our children into gift-hungry creatures who seemingly try to behave themselves until the morning of 25 December, when, if they are happy with their present, they play with it for a day and a half and leave us in peace, or they start grumbling that they are not happy with what they have received and become even more intolerant.
How Do We Take Back Control and Have a Peaceful Family Christmas?
I know that children are different and hardly everyone like me would accept almost with equanimity the fact that the role of Santa Claus is performed by our parents.
But it’s also true that as a society, we put too much into this illusion. I don’t know what is the right way to tell our children that this illusion does not exist.
This year, my older son came home from kindergarten crying because Santa Claus (who he guessed was the puppet theater actor) gave him a very small gift that he didn’t want. (Sorry, my child, but what do you expect from a Santa who isn’t real? At least be thankful that he brought you something.)
If we stop shifting the focus of the holiday and emphasize the joy of shared time together, it will greatly ease the tension that arises in our children.
All this spending of money on expensive toys that only after a few days or weeks remain forgotten is not beneficial to anyone.
Me, personally, as a parent and a teacher, I have much more fun doing Christmas tasks, making gingerbread cookies and handmade ornaments for the Christmas tree. It brings people together, not divides them. It’s what makes us a family, not spending more money.
Reassure your children that you love them even when they aren’t the most obedient.
Explain to them that there are more important things than material gifts.
Read the Christmas stories to make them more curious and creative.
Take back control of the holiday by creating your own unique family traditions during this time of year.
Talk about the kids who don’t have Christmas and try to find causes to get involved with your kids and help someone in need.
Teach your children at a young age that there are people around the world who do not celebrate this holiday and have their own traditions and holidays that are different from yours.
By focusing on actions rather than things, you are sure to make this time of year much more meaningful. You don’t have to fill the holiday with religiosity if you don’t feel comfortable with that.
Or the opposite — if you are religious and take this as a positive, show that side of yourself to your children without aggressively imposing. Let them take for themselves what they can according to their age and perceptions.
Are you even the slightest bit relieved that there is still a way to get rid of the hustle and bustle of Christmas without grumbling and clattering?
Yes, it is quite possible. Use this time of year to show a new good trait of yours as parents and people. Teach your children about the magic of kindness and how we need it all year long.
The holiday will have so much more value that way.
Prepare gifts, but leave some of your salaries for next month when Santa will be gone and your children will rely on you again for everything else.
2:02 AM.
I think it’s time for Mom — the writing Snow White — to fall asleep after this Christmas confession. Fingers crossed the dwarf sleeps a few more hours!
And Merry Christmas, may it be a really good one for everyone, even your wallet in the end!
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