Why Failing in My Acting Exams Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.
Two years ago, fresh out of university, I decided to become an actress.
Perhaps this decision was driven by my enthusiasm from an amateur acting class I had taken during high school and my lack of purpose at that time.
I spent a whole year preparing and studying while simultaneously working hard as a bartender to make a living.
Time passed, and I went to give my exams. I felt thrilled and terrified at the same time. Surprisingly, my performance was pretty decent. However, when the results arrived a month later, I was devastated — I had failed.
The acceptance rate was approximately 0.53%, so it now makes sense, but back then, it crushed my world, and I felt lost.
It wasn’t just the failure itself; it was the feeling of being obligated to apologize to everyone who knew about my exams and asked many uncomfortable questions.
Over the next 2–3 months, I was heartbroken and couldn’t believe what had happened. I began reconsidering all my choices. I wanted to express myself, but I felt trapped.
Hopefully, slowly but steadily, I started exploring different fields of art to reconnect with myself. I began painting, and I loved it. I tried sketching, drawing with watercolors, digital painting, lifting weights in the gym, running, and many more, realizing I was pretty decent at many things I hadn’t even considered.
After this, I delved into reading more and developed a great interest in philosophy and the profound questions of life, which was the initial reason I studied religion studies in the first place.
I also began learning more about music and how to play the ukulele, something I had never tried before, and I found it pretty amusing.
A year after the initial setback, I was a completely new person. I started my Master’s in Philosophy, focusing on the philosophy of literature and taking several courses on world literature.
During this time, and thanks to my boyfriend’s prompts, I rediscovered my love for writing. I had been writing since I could remember myself, composing poems, lyrics, fairy tales, and essays, I have no idea why I stopped in the first place.
I had even made my first money at 16 by winning first place in a poetry contest, but somehow, until a year ago, I never thought that I could make writing my profession.
Even though my teachers had always told me how gifted I was, I couldn’t really see that writing was my gift and calling. I didn’t consider writing as a real talent.
Fortunately, after all this disappointment, personal work, rediscovery, and reconsideration, something clicked inside me, and my perspective totally shifted.
To be honest, now I can’t imagine my life without writing, how one-dimensional life could be, so bland and pointless.
Thinking that I get to write for the rest of my life is what makes me get out of bed every morning. And it was all thanks to this failure.
Sometimes rejection is just redirection, and I’m so glad I failed.
God knows what would have happened if I had succeeded.
I’m certain I wouldn’t have evolved so much, and I would feel even more lost.
I would have been stuck in a field that possibly would terrify me (it’s not an angelic place, the showbiz, so I pass), imprisoned by my thoughts that I tried hard to get there and I couldn’t give up, thinking also of the disapproval of other people if I was leaving this field to find my real passion.
Now that I have rediscovered my true passion for writing, I feel free again.
I draw, I play music, I write a lot and read twice as much, and I engage in theatre activities just for fun, no pressure at all.
I also enjoy lifting weights in the gym, running, and I finally feel fulfilled, optimistic, and in love with my life.
I even wrote my first whole book in just one day. You can read more about this here:
So, closing this article, I would like to tell you to never feel sad about any failure; you’ll never know from what misfortune it saved you.
Enjoy the ride with an open mind, try everything you can in a lifetime, and you’ll find your passion along the way, as long as you remain passionate!
If you’ve reached the end, thank you! Your support means a lot. Feel free to drop a comment and share your thoughts — let’s chit-chat about anything you wish! :)
