Why stalking your ex online is a bad idea
Phew! So another one broke your heart. Why do relationships suck when they end. One day it is all pink and rosy and the next glum all over. but for now, the on-the-face scenario is that you have been blocked on all the social networking platforms and there is no beating the fact that you don’t have an iota of an idea, why?
Then the futile race begins of incessantly stalking them online. Making fake accounts on Facebook, Instagram, X, and even on LinkedIn. Not leaving any stone unturned to have a glance at them. What a waste of time. However, it takes time to realize this. Something you’ll rue all your life. Maybe laugh over it too. But till then you would have wasted a vast amount of energy and time.
You might argue that by stalking them online, you are trying to gauge their thoughts, feelings, and regrets. You don’t want to miss any chance to reconcile. But my friend; the truth is, if they have decided to end a relationship they will not budge to any of your pleading. So let me give rest to your contentions:
1. Out of sight out of mind: If you keep stalking your ex you will never accept the fact that they are no longer in your life. They will remain connected to you in heart and spirit. You will have to train your mind to not think of them and thus stalking will break that chain of thoughts and you will end up pivoting in the rut forever.
2. PLUMMETING Mental health: have you noticed that your mental health is not improving? You are missing all the happiness around you. Even when you are with your friends partying, all that you do is sit in the corner and stalk your ex on their social network. Trust me you will end up in depression, as you are mind is clasped in the past, while your present is being ignored, eventually ruining your future.
3. Accept there is no reconciliation: you have tried your best to be your best version. But even if your heart is too frail to walk past a dead relationship, in your heart you know that you longer are together. You’re sticking around will only create problems for them and more than to yourself. You are ruining away from reality and just wandering into the world of make-believe, where you are imagining that, they are still in love and want you back. This doesn’t happen in the real world. Relationships end and people move on. This is part and parcel of living being. That doesn’t make you any bad or them any evil.
4. Stalking is a punishable crime: In many countries, online stalking can be a crime and you could be penalized for the same. But if you ask me, not to them but you are committing a crime towards yourself by not allowing yourself to heal, not allowing yourself to move away from a ticking bomb; the pain and indignation of being a loser in love. Love is not a war to be won and lost. Put it to rest. If you have to take along the good memories and the lessons you have learned on the journey.
5. Don’t take a break personally: My pal! Stop beating yourself for something you were not responsible for. Guilt is the foremost emotion for most of our mental stress. Please read through my detailed article on this:
https://medium.com/long-sweet-valuable/how-not-to-take-a-breakup-perosnally-e47718eed837
6. Feeling of Indignation and losing self-worth: This is your life and you are responsible for keeping anguish and pain away from your soul. Sooner and later you will realize, that you wasted so much time just keeping your head glued to your mobile phone, running after someone who doesn’t want you in their life anymore. Just fix your emotions and search for the lost self-worth. Take up a hobby, hit a gym, go to the palette class, much better start running, and limit your screen time: Pick up the pieces of your heart and move ahead.
There is no problem, even with shutting down your mobile phone for a few days. Refrain from anything that takes you off the hook and takes you back to stalking your ex.
Trust in the process. Take slow but steady steps to reclaim your life. You will thank me, once you are out of the rut. Once done. Come back and Leave me a note and I will be the happiest to know that. For now … Retreat!
