14 Life Lessons From Morrie Schwartz More Relevant Today Than Ever
Tuesdays with Morrie is a book about professor Morrie Schwartz's last project with his favourite student Mitch Albom in which they talked about life and beyond.
Published in
7 min readJun 21, 2022
Love is how you stay alive
Morrie Schwartz, a professor of sociology, was diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) in his late seventies. The disease was fatal, and his fate was sealed, but that did not wither the spirit of Morrie, who was always known for his positive attitude towards life and people.
One of his favourite students Mitch Albom who graduated two decades ago and was then working as a sports news journalist, decided to meet his dying professor and took final lessons from him. They met every Tuesday and talked about life; later, Mitch published the lessons as a book "Tuesdays with Morrie".
Morrie Schwartz died from ALS in 1995, almost two decades ago, but as I was reading his lessons, I thought they are more relevant now than ever; maybe his lessons transcend time.
Every Tuesday until the very last, Morrie and his student Mitch discussed topics that matter to us as humans, but we seldom discuss them.
Starting from the first Tuesday, they talked about:
- World — death is the great equalizer —our feeds are filled with the doom and gloom happening in the world — wars, diseases, and pandemics, yet we continue our lives like nothing. We fool ourselves into believing that something happening on the other side of the world does not concern us until it happens right before our doorsteps.
As Morrie was slowly inching toward his death, he could feel the pain of people across as much as his own family.
- Feeling sorry for yourself — we need to strike a balance, put a limit on self-pity, feel sorry for what we don't have and feel happy about the good things in our life. It is not advisable to linger in any of the extremes for too long.
As ALS was slowly making Morrie's organ numb, he was still glad that he had all the time to spend with people and say goodbye to them.
- Regrets — we all know people who regret their secrets, things they have not attempted, relations they have not cared for, and feelings they have not shared. Still, we continue to follow in the same footsteps because either we are trapped in our ego, or we think that we will have time to take care of these things later on.
When all the time passes through the crevices of life, we are left with regrets, and we spend the rest of our lives battling with them but to no avail.
Morrie insisted that in our lives, we must stop, look back, think about things that matter, and choose them over all the worldly things we keep chasing until the very end.
- Death — Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. We spend our lives in autopilot mode, chasing one thing after another, focusing on materials. Death is a subject most people ignore and don't talk about because it will then expose what is essential to them and could make them uncomfortable.
And that is what Morrie put forward — once you get to terms with death (not in a pessimistic way), you understand that everything you have been chasing will be left behind in the end.
This can happen any day, so you focus on the essentials of life, things that truly matter.
- Family — Morrie had a loving family; without his family, the last days of his life would have been difficult. He believed there is no foundation like family on which people can stand and face the world.
You don't get to choose your family; you are born into it. But you get to decide how to uphold the family and continue those relations until the end.
- Emotions — Morrie never shied from experiencing or displaying emotions. Feel your emotions for what it is, and then detach. Morrie believed in experiencing emotions fully and completely. He didn't believe in holding back our emotions but going through them.
He thought that instead of becoming vulnerable to our emotions, we could immerse ourselves into them, understand them and then detach ourselves only to come out stronger than before.
- Ageing — Morrie loved to dance even in his late seventies unless ALS gripped him and took away his ability to dance. His age did not limit him; instead, he embraced ageing.
He made a point to enjoy every phase of his life — childhood, teen, adult and old.
According to him, every phase has its experience, and as you age, you gain wisdom, grow a family, and have more thought and clarity in your life.
Ageing is not just decaying; it's growth too.
Even when his bodily functions were degrading due to ALS, he happily accepted this phase of life, as per him — he got to be a child again.
- Money — Neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have.
Morrie believed that we spent most of our lives disillusioned and confused between our desires and needs. The concept of hoarding more and more is imbibed into us by society. As Morrie was spending his last days, he could see more clearly what mattered in life and what not.
- Love — Love is how you stay alive.
Morrie believed that love travels to eternity; that is how people will remember you, through the love and care you had shown to them when you were alive. Morrie was fond of giving love. Even during his last days, people visit Morrie not to love him but to get loved. During his final moments, Morrie had all his loved ones near him; he hugged and said goodbyes to his heart's content.
- Marriage — Your belief in the importance of your marriage — is what Morrie considered the mantra behind any successful marriage. He and his wife had been married for more than forty-four years before he passed away. They took care of each other, respected each other's boundaries and worked as a team.
Morrie was troubled by the issues the younger generation (this was 1995, he talked about) was facing in their marriage; during his life, he counselled many people and found a common pattern for their woes. Essentials of a happy married life were missing: respect, compromise, openness, and values.
- Culture — Morrie trod carefully on the topic of culture. He didn't vouch for disregarding every rule of the community but for values — he said that this is something we should decide for ourselves. He said that if your culture imposes a particular way of looking at things or regards some people as higher than others due to their possessions, don't follow it.
- Forgiveness — Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others. Morrie's thoughts about forgiveness were in line with his thoughts of having no regrets. He believed there should never be any space for vengeance, stubbornness, ego, and pride in our relationships with others, and we should be able to forgive them. At the same time, we should not regret what we were unable to achieve or do in our life; we need to make peace with ourselves and others.
- Perfect Day — Each one of us has our definition of a perfect day. We want to get up early and seize the mornings, do as much work as possible, rock our 9–5, complete our side hustles, and earn more money.
Mitch asked Morrie on his second-last Tuesday what is his definition of a perfect day if he was perfectly healthy? His reply contained hearty breakfast, swimming, talking with friends and family, walking in nature, having a fulfilling dinner, and sleeping. Not a single mention of work, money, or fame. As he was close to leaving all this behind, he realized what a perfect day should have been.
- Letting Go — One of the best parts of this book is that it makes you comfortable accepting Morrie's death right from the start. No drama or suspense is revealed at the end of the story.
Morrie wanted to leave in peace. He cared for the world he was born into and had no regrets. He gave love as much as he could and forgave himself and the others. Finally, he taught his student Mitch how to let him go — by holding his hand and keeping it on his chest.
While scrolling through my Goodreads feed, I stumbled upon this gem of a book on a lucky day. I read this a couple of days ago. I felt like I was sitting beside the author Mitch and re-living all the Tuesday lessons he was taking from his favourite professor.
To write this review, I had to go through the important parts of the books again, and I am glad I did. Not at once did I feel the content was repeatable or boring.
Although this book was published more than two decades ago, Morrie's lessons are more relevant now than ever and are life-changing.
If you feel like purchasing this book, you can order it from Amazon from the link below (affiliate link)
