Traits to Look for in a Partner
Introduction
Many of us have had many partners where we thought they were our soulmates. However, this rarely ends up being true.
Why is that? Does physical pleasure blind us? Mental connection? or what?
Finding the right partner can be a tiresome and risky endeavor. I recommend going through your dating life and looking for potential partners with the traits I will be discussing.
For example, if you find someone with some qualities you value without any red flags, that person already has great potential. Of course, what’s on the surface might differ from what’s on the bottom. This is why I recommend approaching your partner search as an investment. You might lose, or you might win. This is somewhat out of your control; however, you decide who is worth investing your time and energy in.
I will share seven traits you should look for in a partner. You can enhance this list with your personal preferences to help you find your ideal partner.
1- Good Communication
We have all heard this one before. Good Communication can hold a relationship together when times get tough, the same way bad communication can ruin one in the best of times.
It is a warning sign if your date or partner continuously avoids deep conversation or conflict and never wants to discuss important topics. Sure, it might be because of how they were brought up, but fixing them is not your responsibility.
Ideally, you should be able to talk with your partner about any conflict or problems regarding your common interests (your relationship, kids, common friends, etc.). This will allow you two to handle issues together rather than apart, making you both feel supported.
Great relationships last because they handle problems and arguments well, not because they are perfect matches.
2- Respectfulness
Respectfulness is a trait that is missing in the upcoming generation. Many people don’t respect you the way they should. A partner should respect your presence, opinion, time, and autonomy.
So, instead of shouting at you, forcing you to do what they want, or doing something they know you wouldn’t like behind your back, they should communicate with you properly and discuss the topic with the utmost respect (and so should you!).
Imagine if you remained with a partner who didn’t respect you. You will end up feeling like you don’t have a say in the relationship, and not addressing this will cause very ugly feelings to arise, leading to a hectic end of the relationship.
Mutual respect is the foundation on which great relationships are built.
3-Independence
Independence is the ability to function independently without your partner. This does not mean your partner shouldn’t help you if you can do something alone. On the contrary, your partner should offer to support you if he can, even if he fully knows that you can handle something by yourself.
To build a strong relationship, both partners must be independently functioning entities. You two won’t complete each other, but you will enhance each others’ lives. If one partner is dependent on the other, the independent partner will feel like he’s carrying more than he should in the relationship.
Of course, many of you will argue, “What if not both are financially independent?”. I am not talking about financial dependence. Of course, that would be a plus, but it is not a requirement. By independence, I refer to the ability to take responsibility for and fulfill a task.
Two good legs allow us to run, but one lousy leg might cripple us.
4- Physical and Emotional Attraction
This comes as a no-brainer. We all initially approach our potential partners because we are attracted to them. This attraction could be physical or emotional, but it has to be there for the relationship to work.
Why are you with them if you are not attracted to them? A relationship has many dimensions, one of which is intimacy. Intimacy with our partner makes us feel better after a bad day or ecstatic after a great day. It improves our mood in general and makes life more bearable. No relationship can function long-term without attraction.
Diamonds are rare, making them valuable, but we wouldn’t wear them if we didn’t find them pretty.
5- Ambition
Having a purpose or a goal helps us keep working towards the future. This goal can be anything from becoming a CEO to raising a family. A person with ambition is a happier, more driven person. Being around this person makes you more motivated to follow your own aspirations.
Some people don’t have an ambition. They react to everyday things. Unfortunately, those people don’t make the best partners since they will likely become dependent on the relationship and consider it their ambition. This forces me to refer to the 3rd trait in this list: Independence. Your partner needs an ambition if you two want to motivate and keep one another interested.
Work towards a goal, but don’t ignore the amazing people you might meet along the way.
6- Integrity
Integrity, loyalty, or trustworthiness — you can call it what you want. The lack of this trait can be the demise of any perfect relationship. You can tell if a person has integrity and is moral in all aspects of his life. Fire brings fire. If a person cheats in their workplace, why would they not cheat in their relationship? If he lies to his friends, why wouldn’t he lie to you?
Integrity is a very important trait related to the essence of the person. If the essence is corrupted, trying to treat the symptoms and hoping for a full recovery will be futile.
Trust can be broken with a single lie, but restoring it might take more than a billion truths.
7- Sense of Humor
Having someone to laugh with is essential in a world where you must be serious about achieving your goals. Humor is medicine to our soul. A partner with a similar humor can help us destress and laugh in the most nerve-racking times.
Of course, having a sense of humor doesn’t mean you should lose respect for your partner. Everything is best in moderation.
The goal is to laugh forever with someone you take seriously.
Conclusion
To conclude, a perfect partner is difficult to find. It would be ideal if you find someone with qualities you value; however, some traits are non-negotiable. These traits are Good Communication, Respectfulness, Independence, Physical and Emotional Attraction, Ambition, Integrity, and a Sense of Humor.
Also, don’t look for these values in someone if you haven’t achieved them yourself. Many tend to judge others but forget about themselves.
Thank you for reading! I hope you find your ideal partner. Suppose you liked this article and would like to read more like it. Follow me on Writer Thinker and More.
