How do you make friends as you get older?
Embrace the all 3 season of friendship — friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime
In the middle of bustling city life surrounded by buildings and the ceaseless hum of traffic, Sarah found herself adrift in a sea of strangers. She had moved to this metropolis just a few months ago seeking a fresh start.
She wanted to give herself a chance to reinvent who she was. The days soon turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. Sarah found herself struggling to build some meaningful connection in this new city she hoped to call home. Starting from scratch was a tough slog.
Her days were filled with work. She tried to reach out, to connect with her colleagues, to join social groups, but every attempt felt like an uphill battle. She needed a bigger social battery to make headway in these waters. Grasping a solid connection felt like trying to catch a rainbow in her hands.
One evening, as Sarah walked home from work, a sudden downpour transformed the bustling streets into a dense wall of raindrops. She ran under a large awning to escape the worst of the rain. The world blurs before her eyes. A pang of loneliness struck her. She felt a hollow echo in her chest that matched the rhythm of the rain striking her face.
A gentle voice jolted her out of her gloomy thoughts. A woman extended her umbrella shielding Sarah from the rain.
“Don’t you mind if I join you?” the stranger asked.
This was the beginning of an unlikely friendship born from a chance encounter under the pouring rain. From this random connection point, Sarah soon expanded her circle of friends.
In their company, Sarah found the warmth she desperately missed. She felt a sense of belonging she hadn’t experienced since leaving her hometown.
Making Friends as We Age
Forming new friendships can be a scary task at any age, but it’s especially true as we age. Our lifestyles and priorities shift, and our social circles convulse due to life changes.
Remember, making friends as we age is not an impossible feat. It just requires more energy. We have to choose to be open to new experiences and be willing to step outside our comfort zones. Who knew one could bond over failing the wall climb at a Spartan race?
Recognizing the Seasons of Friendship
Life is a continuous journey filled with transitions, and friendships often evolve and transform along the way. Ralph Waldo Emerson eloquently captured this concept when he stated,
“People come into your life for
a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
Some friendships are meant to last a lifetime, providing unwavering support, companionship, and shared experiences. These friendships serve as anchors in our lives, offering a sense of belonging and a haven to weather life’s storms.
Other friendships may be more fleeting. Like the hazy lazy summer days, they serve a specific purpose during particular seasons of our lives. I can think of several friends I made when my children were toddlers and we weary mothers bonded over dramatic diaper disasters. I only keep in touch with one of them now.
These connections can provide companionship, growth, and valuable lessons during these distinct periods. There is nothing wrong with these friends for a season. Don’t despise them.
It’s important to embrace the transient nature of friendships. As trees add rings and shed their leaves with time so do we. Nature changes with each season and so do layers of our friendship circle. Cherish the connections we make along the way while understanding that some relationships are not meant to be forever kind.
Again. There is nothing wrong with friends for a season.
They appear in our lives for a reason that only the universe/ god will know. Appreciate the unique contributions of each friendship. Some friends will stick around for the span of a lifetime. Some friends we will have it for only a short season. Each connection has its value. Maybe you’re there to add something to THEIR lives. Who knows? Karma’s favorite game is pay-it-forward after all.
Harnessing the Power of Shared Interests
One of the most effective ways to make friends is to seek out individuals who share our passions and interests. Yes, this is harder than it should be these days. But the old approach of joining clubs, attending workshops, or volunteering can provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals still works.
Join a book club, participate in a local community garden, or volunteer at a local animal shelter are a few places to start. Find what sparks joy and enthusiasm for you. While you’re there you might just meet some people who share the same interests.
Nurturing Existing Friendships
While we’re busy navigating new life stages, it’s easy to let existing friendships fall by the wayside. However, making time for existing friends is crucial for maintaining strong connections.
Schedule regular catch-ups. The pandemic showed us all that a group Zoom call will do in a pinch just like instant coffee if you can’t get the real stuff. Gather up the crew to meet up in a virtual space for a coffee catch-up up, if you can swing it an in-person gathering.
Staying in touch is what keeps friendships alive and kicking. Since the pandemic, my girlfriends and I have taken to having Friday night Zoom calls. Wine is the preferred choice of beverage. No DD is required.
With family obligations and hectic work schedules, we don’t always have the will and energy to head out for a 3-hour dinner meet-up. But a 3-hour zoom call in our PJs? Heck yeah! Cause as soon as we hang up, we can fall into bed. No commuting. Find what works for you and your crew.
Exploring Themes in Television
There are plenty of TV series that explore the themes of friendship. Mostly comedy genders. Just like fools or jokers in plays often serve as a mouthpiece for the playwright to speak truth to power. Jokers and entertainers wrap their words in humor, but if you can unwrap it you can find valuable wisdom hidden inside.
- The Golden Girls revolves around four single women who live together in Miami, Florida. The series showcases the power of female friendships, the challenges of ageing, and the importance of finding humour in life’s ups and downs.
- Hospital Playlist (2020–2021): This medical drama follows a group of doctors who have been friends since medical school. The series is known for its heartwarming stories and its beautiful depiction of friendship.
- Only Murders in the Building (2021-present) A lighthearted mystery comedy that follows three strangers who share an obsession with true crime and decide to investigate a murder in their apartment building. The series explores the power of shared interests, the importance of community, and the bonds of friendship.
- The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime Video, 2017-Present) follows Miriam “Midge” Maisel, a housewife in 1950s New York City who discovers her talent for stand-up comedy. The series celebrates female friendship, personal growth, and finding one’s voice.
- Ted Lasso (Apple TV+, 2020-Present) follows Ted Lasso, an American football coach who is hired to coach a British Premier League soccer team. The series tackles themes of friendship, perseverance, and the power of kindness.
- The Bold Type (Freeform, 2017–2021) follows the lives of three young women working at a fictional women’s magazine in New York City. The series explores themes of friendship, career aspirations, and navigating modern relationships.
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