How to Break the Cycle of Procrastination and Truly Improve Yourself
It’s 3:19 AM, and you just checked the time.
“Dammit, not again,” you whisper to yourself.
You ate your dinner on time and read ten pages of a book with eyes full of drowsiness just to tick off things from your daily to-do list. Then, you picked up your phone to scroll a little bit because you thought you’d earned the leisure by working for 30 minutes straight. Now, you look at the time, and it’s already past 2 AM. You’ve repeated the cycle yet again.
This isn’t to tell you that to-do lists are a waste of time or that you shouldn’t create patterns. It’s just a wake-up call — a reminder that methods, tactics, and “5 ways to be more productive” articles won’t help unless you’re serious about making a change.
The Pattern of Growing Up
Everyone wants to be better, but only some have the heart to follow that path. People like routines, but they love comfort even more. If you’re a student, you want good grades while maintaining a social life. You want to go out, have coffee with friends, go to concerts, and make the most of your teens. If you’re a working professional, the security of a steady paycheck can make you complacent. You wake up, go to work, complete your tasks, and by the end of the day, you don’t have the energy for anything else. Hobbies like writing, gaming, and crafting are all somewhere in the attic, forgotten.
Here’s the pattern: You find comfort in the life you’ve built. Why would you want to disrupt it and make your life uncomfortable? Why eat healthier, go to the gym, start a blog, or establish your long-wanted business?
Where there is comfort, there is no room for improvement.
The Fallacy of Advice
Some people would rather live a life of comfort. But then, there are people like you who want change. You want better health and a better income. You are different because you’d rather give up comfort today to live a better life five years from now.
But where does your sadness emerge from? Let’s break it down.
You look up the best self-improvement articles online:
- “10 Ways to Be Better Than Other People”
- “Live a Stoic Life and Rediscover Yourself”
- “5 Ways to Be More Productive and Get Things Done”
Even I write such articles, and most of the time, these things work for me. But what works for others doesn’t necessarily work for you.
You wouldn’t teach a monkey how to fly or a bird how to bark. Most of the time, this advice is a path for you to discover what works best for you. Instead of finding your own way, you follow the rules set by other people. When the results don’t come, you feel down.
For example, the Pomodoro technique works for me, but not in the traditional way. Usually, you work for 30 minutes and take a rest for the next 5. I hated this routine. As soon as I would get in the flow, my timer would buzz, telling me to take a break.
Until I realized that Pomodoro should not be taken at face value. It’s not a 30-minute work, 5-minute break rule. The rule is to take a break every time you feel blocked. So instead of setting a timer, I let myself get into the work mode. I stayed there for 1–2 hours until I felt like taking a break. This is what worked for me.
Stop Doing What They Tell You to Do
We’re inundated with tips and tricks on how to live our best lives. And yet, despite your best efforts to follow their sage advice, you often find yourself falling short. Why? Because you’re not putting in the real work.
Ask yourself, are you reading that book because you like it or because your list says so? Are you working because you enjoy it or just because your list says so? Are you not meeting your friends because you don’t want to or because your list says to stay stoic?
To better yourself does not mean to change everything that makes you, you!
It’s like trying to learn French by binge-watching Netflix instead of speaking the language.
As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus reminds us, “First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.” Instead of fixating on endless to-do lists, focus on the essence of what you want to achieve. What kind of person do you want to become? What values do you want to embody? By aligning your actions with your core values and priorities, you can cultivate a sense of purpose and fulfillment that transcends the superficiality of mere tasks.
The Myth of “Getting Better”
“Get better,” they say. But what does that even mean? And who gets to define what “better” looks like anyway? Is it working more? Is it eating healthier? Is it working like a robot with a schedule even to breathe?
The truth is, the pursuit of improvement is most fulfilling when it’s driven by internal motivation, not external expectations. It’s about following your own North Star, whether that leads you down the path of a nomad, a stoic, or a hybrid of both. The definition of better varies from person to person. Don’t apply those strategies to your life if the goals don’t align.
“The obstacle is the path.” Embrace the challenges, setbacks, and detours on your journey of self-improvement. Each obstacle is an opportunity for growth, a chance to learn, adapt, and evolve. By embracing the messy, unpredictable nature of life, you can cultivate resilience, strength, and wisdom that far surpass any superficial notion of “getting better.”
Finding Balance
In the journey to better yourself, don’t forget to accept yourself. Many people fall into the trap of setting unrealistic expectations for themselves — when those are not met, they punish themselves.
Even scientifically, it takes the mind at least 18 days to create a habit and fit into a new routine. How can you expect your body to do that in 2 days?
Becoming a better version of yourself is less about the tactics you follow and more about the mindset you have.
- **If you achieve something today — great. Pat yourself on the back.**
- **If the best thing you did was get out of bed and do minimal work — great. Pat yourself on the back.**
Don’t treat yourself like an algorithm that needs to ‘earn’ appreciation.
It’s all about balance. Yes, strive to be better, but also learn to accept yourself exactly as you are in this moment. Embrace your quirks, your imperfections, and your beautifully messy humanity.
It’s okay to have days when you feel like a productivity powerhouse and days when you just want to binge-watch in your pajamas. Life is a delicate dance between growth and acceptance, and finding that balance is the key to true fulfilment.
Here’s Some Advice That Helped Me in My Journey:
1. Set Intentions, Not Goals: Instead of fixating on specific outcomes, focus on setting intentions for how you want to show up in the world. Intentions are flexible, adaptable, and rooted in your values, making them far more sustainable than rigid goals.
2. Practice Self-Compassion, Not Self-Forgiveness: Be kind to yourself, especially when you fall short of your expectations. Compassion does not mean you’ll forgive yourself each time. Improvement requires a strong mentality, so you cannot keep skipping important tasks and treating them as ‘just-another-day’.
3. Cultivate Curiosity: Approach life with a sense of curiosity and wonder, embracing the unknown and exploring new possibilities. Keep asking questions, seeking knowledge, and staying open to growth.
4. Celebrate Your Quirks: Your quirks are what make you uniquely you, so celebrate them unabashedly. Embrace your weirdness, your eccentricities, and your idiosyncrasies — it’s what sets you apart from the crowd.
5. Connect with Your Why: When embarking on the journey of self-improvement, always connect with your why. What is driving you to grow and evolve? Keep that why front and center as your guiding star.
By focusing on these principles, you can create a more balanced, fulfilling approach to self-improvement that aligns with your unique needs and aspirations.
Remember, it’s not about following someone else’s rules but about discovering what works best for you and staying true to yourself.
Lastly, a huge shoutout to SMOUL who inspired me to write me this post for readers.
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