I can’t take it anymore
The feeling of hopelessness can be overwhelming
Have you ever had that feeling? Have you ever gone down a dark path at least once in your life, where everything just seems to go wrong? Have you ever had that moment, where you are screaming inside saying, “Leave me alone already, I don’t care”?
If you answered no to all of the questions above, you are either lying, or you are the luckiest person in the world. I don’t think I have met any adult person in my life, who has never felt that at least once in their life.
The other person is so lucky
I am thankful to have full gainful employment (in a pandemic no less). I am lucky to have a gorgeous and amazing wife. I am lucky to have two wonderful kids. Yet despite all this, there were times I felt like screaming inside at least once. I used to look at people like me and say, “oh that dude is so lucky, he had an amazing family, 2 cars, amazing stuff in his home”.
I was able to buy my son Mario Kart at full price. I was able to buy accessories for his Nintendo switch during the break. I was able to take them all on vacation over the holidays (despite the pandemic).
I was able to take them out whenever. I was able to bring them home good things. How can I ever feel like screaming inside then?
Everybody has something negative
To be truly honest, it’s not something I like to talk about much. I do not have the greatest of relationships with my parents. As a result that, I also do not have the greatest relationship with my extended family. People are quite judgemental where I am from, “oh you don’t live with your parents”?
Without going into too much detail (something that will require a novel), I do not see eye to eye with either of my parents. They have money habits that tear our family apart. Yet I get blamed for them failing to manage money like adults, rather than like children.
The point here though is not to complain about my parents. The point is to show that despite my “good fortune”, I also have something to deal with that can lead me down this dark path. To me feeling like screaming on the inside.
It isn’t easy, but that’s the way of life. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying any of this to complain about my life. This is why I listed my blessings first, to show it isn’t all about ranting.
This is also the whole point I’m trying to relay. Count your blessings, and be thankful for them. Those blessings are your greatest strength in life. They are the ones that give you true strength to deal with the faults of life.
There is a saying, that I always took to heart. I first heard it in the movie Steel (Shaquille O’Neal starring). “Iron that goes through the hottest fires, makes the best quality steel”. So don’t be afraid of the proverbial fire. Go through it and come up stronger on the other side.
Compassion, no matter what
This is a reminder to myself, before anyone else. Compassion has to be in the heart of everything you do. Sometimes that compassion means you shut up when being yelled at. Sometimes that compassion is trying to understand the sadness of your own children.
Sometimes the compassion is simply a smile for the person who looks completely broken. Sometimes the compassion is to provide hot tea to the homeless person in the bitter cold.
Sometimes the compassion is for yourself, looking at the mirror and saying “you are a worthwhile person, and the world needs you to exist, so it will be a better place”. One cannot show compassion to others if he/she does not have compassion for him/herself.
Be kind to yourself, especially when you fail. Be kind to your wife, when she gets mad for something trivial. Be kind to your child, when she is having a temper tantrum.
Once again, this is a reminder to myself, before anyone else.
