Love, Money, and Finding Balance

Learning to Manage Finances in a Relationship

Selfie by author

When I first fell in love with my partner, money wasn’t something we discussed much. We had an insane level of mutual attraction that had been building for years, and suddenly, he decided to move in with me.

We soon became intent on building a life together, raising my child from a previous partner together, and navigating the everyday joys and challenges of a relationship together under late-stage capitalism. But as time has gone on and my partner has become more financially unmoored, the financial gap between us became harder to ignore.

Our differences in our finances have caused substantial tension between us: I have stable finances, savings, and investments that provide me with security. My partner, on the other hand, is currently unemployed and doesn’t have any savings. He contributes immensely to our home — taking care of our child, managing household tasks, and providing emotional support — but when it comes to money, I carry the financial weight. This has been difficult to navigate, but through open communication and intentional choices, we are working on finding a balance that works for both of us.

I have struggled with feelings of frustration and resentment, as my partner’s financial position has placed the burden of bills…