My Little One Questioned Me About Spirituality
My 13-year-old daughter recently joined a new boarding school. After 5 weeks, we visited her and she was brimming with excitement and energy about her new environment and acquaintances. “The teachers here are kind, compassionate, and helpful,” she quickly remarked.
Nevertheless, she was exasperated by the disproportionate emphasis on spirituality. She believed that spirituality, academics, sports, and various other activities should each occupy 30%, 30%, 30%, and 10% of the time, respectively. She was particularly displeased with spending Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays in open discussions on spiritual topics under a tree, feeling that she was already well-versed in the subject.
They discuss diversity, kindness, compassion, duty, social responsibility, and many other topics. She mentioned that I would appreciate it since I read many spiritual books.
Her question was, ‘What is spirituality when we all know that we must be kind, truthful, and so on?
What is the difference?’ Her voice carried a tone of disdain and mockery.
My husband appreciates her inquisitiveness and has begun to question things himself, even though he is a very wise man. They both put me on the spot and expected an answer from me.
Despite my deep involvement in spirituality, I found myself pondering over a challenging task. The question was how to explain it simply without overwhelming a 13-year-old. Here is how I answered:
Spirituality is about getting the mind, body, and soul in sync with each other. The idea is to keep them balanced so that you can act with clarity.
It’s easy to speak, but challenging to translate words into action.
Then arises the subsequent question:
What is the difference between the soul and the mind? Are they not the same?
Instead of answering, I thought of probing her,
“Sometimes, in the examination hall, when you don’t know an answer, do you ever feel tempted to copy if you happen to glance at someone else’s paper? Yet, at the same time, do you hesitate because you sense that copying is inappropriate? The mind is at work when temptation strikes, but the soul intervenes when you intuitively understand that it is not right.
My daughter has remarked on the concept that actions can be good or bad. It’s commonly understood what constitutes good and bad. One might wonder why there’s a need to teach or discuss it when it seems innate. I understand her point; it does seem that children are born with this awareness. They are inherently spiritual and live in harmony until their identities begin to form. Explaining this to your 13-year-old can be challenging.
As a child, you played with cockroaches and ants without fear, simply being yourself, with no sense of separation. Now, the sight of a cockroach from afar can send you into screams as if it poses a lethal threat. What has altered from your childhood to now? Fear was not taught to you, so when did it arise?
How do get rid of this fear?
Well, you get rid of it by getting back to balancing your mind, body, and soul.
How do you go about balancing mind, body, and soul?
Through practices such as meditation, yoga, and breathwork, we can achieve a crucial balance. Identities will form, and they are necessary to function in this world. While engaging with the world, we may lose our balance, which is natural and acceptable. However, learning to swiftly restore balance in our mind, body, and soul enables us to interact with the world with greater clarity.
Eventually, it isn’t about what you do, but more importantly how you do it.
I can complete my exam either by copying or by better preparing for the exams. It is a choice! If the choice is more aligned with your soul, you end up being happy about it.
HAPPY Parenting :) Would love to know more about such interrogations from kids in the comments. They simply surprise us all the time.
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