Rededicating Myself to Zazen Practice
I recently reconnected with my Buddhist faith.
I fell in love with Buddhism over 20 years ago after learning about the Eastern religion in a college course.
The notion that life is unpleasant because of its impermanence and our desires. That we could eliminate suffering through right conduct appealed to me.
I eventually started meditating, and experimenting with different forms before I discovered the Zen practice of zazen. In zazen, we just sit still and pay attention to our breath and bodies, letting go of our thoughts.
Zazen brought me greater peace and calm. But I eventually became “too busy” to practice every day. Big mistake. My mindfulness and inner peace suffered.
Earlier this year, I decided I was going to rededicate myself to zazen and Buddhism. There have been some deaths in the family. I’m unemployed with some health issues. My mental health nearly hit rock bottom because of a difficult living situation.
I visited a Zen center for a meditation lesson and started practicing every morning. I started reading Zen books again, and attended the dojo regularly to sit with sensei and fellow practitioners.
The difference has been phenomenal. I feel calmer and more at peace with myself and others. I’m more mindful of my words and actions, and more empathetic towards others.
I still have horrible days. Some of the most difficult people to deal with are those closest to me. But that’s okay. It’s all part of the human experience.
It’s not what happens but how we react to it. If we remain mindful, we don’t lose ourselves in anger or despair.
Reentering the faith gives me hope for the future. Not for heavenly salvation or avoiding rebirth. Those wishes are cool for others.
I just want to live a peaceful life after some very difficult times. That’s good enough for me.
