The Painful Truth: Nothing Lasts Forever, But Goodbyes Are Always Near
Where’s the good in goodbyes?
Goodbyes, goodbyes. Whether the intentions are for ‘the greater good’ or if they are truly meant as a forever thing — what we usually call separation — they will always be heartbreaking.
Being someone who has experienced a wide variety of goodbyes, it’s always saddening to recall any significant farewells I’ve had in the past. I’ve said goodbye to old friends when we chose to part ways, to my parents when I left for college in a different city, to my brother when he moved to Bali for work, to my grandmother when she passed away, and to my high school friend who was in an airplane crash, as well as to relationships that didn’t work out. Admit it, we all feel the same way about goodbyes.
I often wonder, do goodbyes for ‘the greater good’ exist? Just like what The Script wrote in their song, ‘Where’s the good in goodbyes?’
There are times when I ask God, why must there be farewells? Can’t people be in any place at any specific moment when we need them? Nothing lasts forever, but goodbyes are always there, always near. They have made me feel insecure about starting a relationship because I tend to think, when will I have to say goodbye to this relationship, and will it end just as it began?
Reflecting on how I’ve dealt with these goodbyes, I’ve (gladly) discovered some ways to cope with them (though it hasn’t always been easy). These coping strategies might resonate with you — or not.
Be rooted in the belief that everything happens for a reason.
Some of you might be cynical about the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason.’ When someone experiences a deeply heartbreaking goodbye, it’s understandably difficult to see it as a precursor to something better in the future. I used to be that kind of person until I realized that every time I said goodbye to something or someone, another beautiful thing came along (even if it took a while). Whether it’s big or small, better or worse than my previous experiences, there’s always something good for me, and there’s always a lesson to be learned.
Constantly remind myself that it is just a phase and not the end of the world.
Sometimes when faced with a goodbye, we feel like everything is falling apart and there is no hope, as if it’s the end of the world. Dealing with goodbyes while hoping for better days ahead isn’t easy. In moments of mourning, everything seems blurry. However, I always try to remind myself that it’s just a phase, and I need to stay strong because it’s not the end of the world. There are more good things ahead for me.
Know that I have myself.
As social creatures, we are inherently reliant on others in our lives. However, we sometimes forget that we also have ourselves, which is what matters most. I’ve encountered the term ‘codependency’, where someone excessively relies on their partner and struggles to function independently. I’ve been in that situation before, depending on someone for everything, until he left me and I felt lost. This is why it’s crucial to remember that we have ourselves. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own well-being, knowing that everyone else could eventually leave.
Just try to accept the fact that goodbyes will always come to me, so I need to be stronger.
Even until death, we will say goodbye to this world. Goodbyes, again and again, will never end. It’s our responsibility to build a strong heart so that when they come again, we can stand still and move forward.
Well, obviously, it’s not easy for me to write this. I haven’t always been good at dealing with goodbyes. I’ve gone through several breakdowns and sometimes felt like it was the end of everything. But when I constantly remind myself that nothing is forever and there will always be goodbyes, I can deal with it better. No matter how harsh a goodbye may be, remember that you are much stronger.
My dad sent me this picture when I had just gone through a breakup. May this also serve as a friendly reminder to you, whatever goodbyes you may be dealing with now!
