Things That Made Me Stop Writing
Thought identifying them would help me overcome them.
Yes, I may have fibbed in a few CVs as of late when I included “writing” in my hobby list, but I can’t ignore the deep attachment I have towards unleashing my thoughts and feelings through stories and poetry. It used to be home for me, a comfort, a channel of expression for a girl who needed refuge from the uncertainty of reality.
Writing was, simply put, something I have identified myself with. Any plans of collaboration in any way, I had volunteered to be a writer of some sort (or editor), even when the project did not involve any sort of write-up. I was praised many times for my style, my story crafting, and my emotion-conveying through words. I was that kid in English class, besties with the English teacher.
Over time my passion for traditional writing had waned, but I engaged in other creative activities, namely digital art, which involved script-writing for comics and lore-building. I liked to keep things simple so I didn’t get overwhelmed by continuing the story.
At some point, I realised that I had gone weeks if not months without writing. Not a single word on any platform or document, not a single storyline playing in my head, and not a single character making their own decision to proceed with the story. Despite the efforts of collecting prompts and inspiration, I had stopped writing.
Why? Did I lose my love for it? Perhaps it has abated. But I decided other factors must have come into play. So this post is my attempt at identifying these factors, in hopes that I can overcome them and get back in the swing of writing.
Studies
On the surface, this may seem like the major obstacle. Of course, studying for big exams and entering university takes a good amount of time from your life, but I doubt it had to cost my passion. In fact, the urge to escape from reality should bring me to write, no?
Nonetheless, it did get in the way of writing at took my mind off all the pending storylines in my head or on paper. I decided to join a writing society when I entered university, but due to clashing views with my religion, I didn’t get involved much. Not to mention, I couldn’t fit in at the time, being an international student and struggling to make friends.
There was a period of trickling creativity when my best friend and I formed a fan-generated lore of a piece of media we both liked and I’d written a few chapters on fan-fiction platforms, but the progress was slow (and soon died out too but not due to studies). We even had the ending planned, but it was not meant to be.
Now that I’m writing this, I realise this sounds a lot more like an excuse, and it’s entirely possible to write between your studies. I just need to work on time management.
Writing Advice
This may seem a ludicrous reason, but I would find myself pausing in the middle of writing, thinking about a particular writing advice I should be applying right then, and my creative process would get completely interrupted. At times I focus too much on plotholes, relocating characters, and trying out a structure that deviates from my style. I used to take too much time researching and researching, in hopes my story would stay as culturally, socially, and historically correct as possible – which takes away the depth of my writing.
Writing advice led me to impose high standards on myself, so – and I’m sure every perfectionist out there can relate – I put off writing, thinking to return to it when I can be certain I would reach that standard.
Now none of this is to say the advice is to blame for my lackadaisical behaviour, of course. It simply fuels a mindset that needs to be removed with an acknowledgment that writing advice is simply that – advice. I can take it, or leave it.
Waiting for inspiration
I always had this pressing feeling that whatever idea I produced was just not good enough. Not even near head-spinning or soul-crushing or whatnot. I needed something more, something that would send my heart soaring with motivation to keep telling the story. So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I didn’t even notice when I stopped waiting. In the end, I was never inspired to go on, or even craft new worlds, because no abstraction seemed worth my time to expand, nor was I ever convinced of my own capability to finish it.
My problem was waiting, without starting. I write when I feel like it when I have this burst of inspiration that powers my limbs to conjure a thrilling, spine-tingling storyline. When that electricity in my veins dies out, my fingers retract and I disappear for a couple of months.
This lack of discipline is the bigger problem because inspiration reveals itself in many forms from every direction, and from the looks of my writing prompts collection, it doesn’t actually take me a lot to get inspired.
Lack of direction
Lastly, and maybe the hardest to swallow, is the fact that I have been blindly, aimlessly ambling around. I get inspired, sure – yet without ambition, I fail to adopt any sense of urgency or priority. This can be anchored to the fact that, while I came up with cool story ideas, I acknowledged that they wouldn’t be able to revolutionize reality. Whether or not I write it down, the world will keep spinning. Perhaps I thought this way because I did struggle with making an impact through my writing, more so as I thought the writing was merely a way to express feelings.
Au contraire, as we all know, words are today’s most dangerous weapon. We may fail to realise how impactful our voices are, and how they may impale minds and generate a source for change. But without this in mind, and hindered by aforementioned factors, I had no bulls-eye to target and never took the shot.
The best part about identifying this factor is that I not only want to write, but to write something that matters; to contribute a valuable perspective on what I deem important for the world and society itself. I don’t only think of writing just any story – I ponder why this story (or article, or personal recount) must be written. This also enables me to explore different types of writing, like creative nonfiction, blogging, or essays like this one.
Conclusion: How do I start again?
After finally jotting down these reasons I realise something rejuvenating: overcoming these is achievable! And the only problems are within myself. All that’s left to do is to get up, grab a laptop, and start click-clacking on that keyboard.
If any of you have experienced the same problem, comment down below on what’s made you start again! Or what else do you think plays a major role in your writing hiatus? Who knows, like me, this may help you resolve it. As a writer, it’s easy to be demotivated by temporary distractions, but I believe a writer at heart will always return to have their voice heard.
