Why Do We Miss People?

The Nerd
Readers Hope
Published in
4 min readJan 20, 2024

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Photo by Caique Nascimento on Unsplash

Missing Someone/something Missing, longing for, or remembering someone or something very dear, experiencing their absence or loss, is an internal recognition that confirms that it has been truly significant, with an emotional and affective value capable of remaining in your memory, capturing the attention and thought of that person or thing.

Missing someone allows you to generate a feeling of continuity. We want the people, things, or situations we love to last. When this does not happen, we can discover that it is no longer there and can be in a new way, with another presence and density.

It would help if you always had some trigger to start missing that thing: a special date, a photo, an anniversary, a place, a scent, a memory, among other things.

If you miss someone only when you feel sad or lonely, that’s not necessarily love. With pleasant memories of a person, we only try to get rid of our loneliness. On the other hand, when you want to share with someone the happiest or most difficult events in your life, you may love them.

It is known that when you love someone, you want to be with that person as long as possible. When we separate, even momentarily, we begin to miss as if the other person were a constant need of our heart.

We must ensure that ignoring does not make us dependent and attached but is a healthy sign of solid, meaningful, lasting, and emotionally rich relationships, a natural consequence of the bond. Missing has an impact on the spirit, the affections, and the body.

We forget everything we are. A part of us is torn away in that state. When the person we miss is around, we don’t always value them or give them our time and attention. When that person is absent, then we inevitably miss them.

It can be learning to value presences when they are there so that in times of absence, we can assimilate the experiences of the bond.

It is a strange feeling, Not because it is not common or unusual. On the contrary, most people miss something or someone every day, but because it is a feeling that evokes many emotions, some are even contradictory. Ignoring can make us laugh or cry, joy or sadness, feel heartbreak or joy.

Why do we miss people?

The problem with missing someone lies in the void that person has left us when they go. When you miss someone, it can hurt a lot. But as long as you truly understand why you miss them and remember that all you need is time, you will surely overcome the suffering of missing someone you can no longer have.

What does it feel like to miss someone?

It’s amazing how the brain works. It can store without error the most unimaginable details: smells, flavors, sensations, temperatures, images, and people, and conspiring them in mind to make us live experiences and feelings that mark the good and bad moments of existence.

Thanks to this memory capacity, we discover love, hate, desire, pleasure, sadness, and longing, and we learn to miss and have feelings for everything that made us happy, even when life has separated us for the better Or worse.

From a young age, people connect emotionally with various entities in each new interaction with the environment. At first, it is instinctive, like the case of a baby with its mother, and then, to the extent that rationality develops, we are aware of our actions and establish stronger bonds.

This happens in personal friendships, and couple relationships that are established in adult life, when one knows, shares, and lives with that other person, with whom one has common interests, thoughts, and life projections.

It is then that if a breakup occurs after several years of romantic connections, the individual begins to experience a series of emotions that may be contradictory. On the one hand, there is the decision to be separated; on the other, longing for what was before is triggered.

Generally, when the other person prefers to live their life apart, after a close and long-lasting relationship, you may miss what you

They were received and what it meant. The “hole” or void appears due to the absence of the forgotten person; it is precisely a void of what one may still want to maintain.

In a couple, the connections go beyond understanding in dialogue; they include security and the complementation between the sexual and the emotional. However, with this way of thinking, the door to new opportunities is usually closed, whether they are better or not, because the “ego” misses something, embellishes it, and perfects it as an argument to recover it.

Many times, partners in a relationship resist separation because they confuse that feeling of “missing” with a sense of love that no longer exists. It is good to know how to recognize to what extent this longing responds to a feeling of continuity.

After a breakup, taking some time, understanding why the breakup or separation happened, and always remembering that a timely withdrawal is better than a final defeat is an important fact to remember.

In this case, it would be necessary to reconsider the mistakes and take more innovative attitudes in the relationship to avoid stumbling over the same stone twice.

Occasionally, the difference between missing and loving involves a question of possessiveness or whim compared to seeking the person’s general well-being. It is very logical and common to love what one loves because one needs, desires, and longs for contact with that thing.

However, what is not logical is to be confused when love is more of a limiting desire for the other, which is an unhealthy way of aiming for what is unattainable or counterproductive.

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The Nerd
Readers Hope

We're a group of passionate writers, and one of our professional aspirations is to promote better health.