Why I Chose To Leave The Corporate World To Pursue My Passions
As a kid, I told everybody I wanted to be an ER doctor. My mom bought me a play doctor set, and I would pretend that I was Dr. McStuffins on people. Sadly, that was not the career field I ended up in as an adult. After seeing what ER doctors do, I was like, never mind, real quick (too much blood for me).
In my teenage years, I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. I worked at a fast-food restaurant in high school and hated it, but my mom would only buy me two pairs of shoes each school year. There was no way I would allow myself to get made fun of for being the girl with raggedy shoes, so I literally worked to buy shoes and clothes. Working in fast food wasn’t for me.
I have always been passionate about the arts, such as writing, music, poetry, film, photography, you name it!! But everyone would always say, “There is no money in those fields unless you know someone.” “You would be wasting your time, money, and life.” I didn’t listen to them at first.
After high school, I enrolled in college for the Music Business program. Those were the best classes I had ever taken in my life. I thought for sure I would end up working with different artists, writing a book or a song, or working for a radio station. I was sadly mistaken. The false promises that the college I went to would help find me a job once I graduated was a bunch of shit. They didn’t help me find anything!!! I worked in customer service throughout college and barely made enough money to pay for schoolbooks and my car insurance. What company was going to hire me with a Music Business degree? I couldn’t live off of $8.00 an hour forever.
It took me months to find a full-time job with benefits. I was going to job fairs and non-profits that help with job searches, and I applied directly to many companies. I finally found a decent job at the bank, where I worked comfortably for years. It wasn’t until I received a promotion and I moved to the finance department that made me realize that the corporate, white-collar world isn’t my cup of tea. It took me over ten years to decide to leave it entirely.
Here is why:
I noticed that no one wants to train you when you start at a new company. It’s already an expectation that you know your job duties as soon as you walk through the door. You might get training the first day or two. After that, people are annoyed that you are still asking questions or wondering what to do next. I did way more than what was on my job description for the same pay. I had to cut the checks, answer vendor calls, get all of the invoices entered, complete month and year-end stuff, answer all of the employee questions, help with budgeting, payroll, make spreadsheets, and etc.
It is like a never-ending cycle of ongoing work that always has emergency deadlines. We always went home later than our scheduled time. If you are an hourly employee, they didn’t want you to work overtime but proudly gave you over 40 hours a week’s worth of work. You can forget about your personal life if you are a salaried employee. Those emails and texts are coming in all night (even on vacation), and it’s the end of the world if you don’t answer them back in a “timely” manner.
I live in Minnesota, so most of the time, I was the only black woman or person in the whole building. My personality just never meshed well with people. I am more of a free spirit who likes to go with the flow and make people laugh, and I don’t like to take myself too seriously. Gossiping about people isn’t my thing; I don’t go around telling everybody my life story, and I want to be creative and develop my own ideas.
Most of the time, I had overbearing, micro-manager-like managers who wished to my work done their way only. Forget my creativity, right? If I did something wrong, I got scolded like I was a child. I would think, “It is easy to correct the problem; calm down.” “We all make mistakes. Even you.” and “If you trained me correctly in the beginning, I would know how to do this more efficiently.” The policies and procedures would change. Nobody would tell me. So, I end up messing up again anyway.
You can’t be away from your desk for longer than 5 minutes; otherwise, co-workers will send out the rescue police to find you. “OMG, I thought something happened to you!” Can I use the bathroom in peace? I guess not!
I have always worked in an open cubicle layout, so the big leagues get to sit in their private offices while I listened to Dave munching on his salad during lunch. Ryan is talking so loud during a call that the whole building can hear him, and Sarah is sitting diagonally behind me, watching everything I do at my desk. I do like my privacy, and not everyone works well in that type of environment. Especially if you are an introvert or suffer from anxiety. Let’s not talk about suffering from mental health issues or having family problems at work because I swear nobody understands or cares. Calling into work is basically a “sin.” Everyone plays the “Why did Andrea call off?” game. It’s so weird why people care so much about someone else’s personal life.
The money is what made me comfortable with being treated like a “slave.” They would lay the work on me because I never said no (which was my fault for not setting boundaries). I developed insecurities from work because of the number of times that I got ignored when I tried to express myself and my opinions. They had no problem telling me what I was doing wrong, but I was barely appreciated or valued for everything I did right.
Basically, I was supposed to mold who I am to fit into their box of who they wanted me to be. I wasn’t assertive enough to be heard because I worked with a pack of aggressive wolves and was the passive sheep. I don’t believe you need to be assertive or aggressive to be great at your job or in a leadership role. Since I decided not to change who I am to fit in, I was outcasted by the people who were proud to play the power, ass-kissing game to the top.
I tried to switch it up by working for non-profit organizations because I thought it would help me feel more positive and motivated. I was now a part of an organization with a vital mission. However, the work environments are still the same. People are more passionate when expressing their opinions, and you get double the workload for less compensation.
We tend to work too damn hard at these jobs, and trust me, they know it, you’re just not cool enough with management to get promoted or a raise for it. You will watch a department go to shit because of high turnover, and the company will keep losing their hard-working, loyal, long-term employees rather than demote or get rid of the manager.
I have seen many cruel things done to people who didn’t deserve it and nothing done to the people who do. Let’s just say I am not a fan of the “high school work environment antics.” Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are old co-workers, and I have met some great corporate leaders. Personally, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living with anxiety, being treated like a child, and having no personal life because I am mentally exhausted every day. Since I have felt like this for years, I knew it was time for me to make a change.
During the pandemic, working from home made me realize that I enjoyed having privacy, cooking my lunch fresh, and not having my co-worker’s negative energy around me. I felt so much more confident, secure, and comfortable. Slowly, the old Andrea was popping out of her shell. I started thinking, “What did I use to do that made me happy?” I realized then that I lost all the love and passion I used to have within myself. I never wrote in my journal, made music, danced around the house, or took pictures just for fun anymore. I didn’t have time to think about myself and the things I enjoyed. My heart was so closed from being overworked, family issues, failed relationships, and growing insecurities that it got to the point where I forgot what I was even passionate about.
I had to sit back and think, “Do I want to bust my ass for someone else’s company when I could be busting ass starting my own?” “Do I even like the work that I am doing, or am I just settling to make money and pay bills?” “Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?” “No!” The companies I have worked for all started because someone believed in their dreams and capabilities. Their business is thriving now, and I am just a peon doing the work for them while they are on a yacht in Miami somewhere sipping Mai Tais after playing golf. “Why am I settling for this?”
After reanalyzing my life purpose, I finally decided to take control of my life. I started writing again and going to my friend’s studio to make music with him. My mom found my old writing journals, and I read all of my poetry and stories. I would reminisce over the “good ole days” with childhood friends and family. I missed over a decade of doing things I enjoyed because I didn’t think it mattered. It’s a huge part of my life that I had lost. I realized I don’t want to live that 9 to 5 life that society has ingrained in us anymore. I am in charge of my own happiness, and it is not up to the company I work for to fulfill that for me. Now that I have changed my life path, there is no turning back to my old ways of living, nor do I want to!
The moral of the story:
Never forget the things that you love, and that drive your passions. Sometimes, we settle at jobs because we are comfortable or afraid to pursue a path that not everyone else is taking. We fear change or worry about it not working out in the future. Even if you have to work a job to pay the bills and create your own business on the side, do it! Nobody is stopping you but yourself. Stop listening to others because they are scared to live their truth. You are not obligated to work a 9 to 5 job. You don’t always have to work in the same field your whole life just because you have the experience or a degree. If your job or company is not fulfilling your needs, it is safe to find another one. Never settle at a company that doesn’t appreciate or value you because there is one out there that will. Yes, they CAN replace you, and they WILL.
You are never too old or too late to follow your dreams or start your own business. Push yourself out of your comfort zone (it will help you grow as a person). Never give up on your dreams because you will never know the outcome if you don’t try to accomplish them. You are in the driver’s seat of your life. You don’t want to regret the risks you didn’t take later in life. We only live once. Trust me, you will always have haters, but don’t let the fear of criticism and backlash scare you. Stay true to yourself and always be yourself. Believe in yourself. Do what makes YOU happy, and that feeds your soul.
