Why We Crave Virtual Validation?
Reflecting on Social Media and External Approval
In the age of social media, it seems the gazes of others increasingly co-author our lives. We project our thoughts and experiences onto the screens of countless strangers, seeking validation in the form of likes, comments, and shares. But why do we crave this virtual validation so intensely?
Digital Echo Chambers
Social media platforms have become echo chambers where our ideas and identities are constantly reinforced (or, rarely, shattered) by the feedback we receive. It’s not just about sharing a moment or a thought; it’s about how others receive that moment or thought. This craving for approval is deeply rooted in our psychology. As social beings, humans have always sought validation from their peers, it’s a survival tactic; its Darwinian. In hunter-gatherer societies, being accepted by the group was essential for survival. Today, the stakes are different, but the underlying need remains the same.
Connection and Addiction
We yearn to be seen, to be heard, to be acknowledged. Social media offers an illusion of connection, a sense that we are part of something larger than ourselves. But this connection is often superficial, built on fleeting interactions and curated personas. The likes and comments we receive are momentary affirmations, quick fixes that never fully satiate our deeper need for genuine human connection. A temporary high that leaves us wanting for more, like an addiction.
When we receive positive feedback on social media, our brains release dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This creates a cycle of dependency, where we keep posting and sharing in hopes of getting another “hit” of approval. This dopamine-driven loop can lead to addictive behaviors, where our self-worth becomes increasingly tied to the reactions we garner online.
Community or Competition
It might appear that social media can offer a platform for self-expression and community building, but we need to remember that it also fosters a culture of comparison and competition. We measure our worth against the highlights and reels of others, leading to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and anxiety. This constant comparison can erode our self-esteem, making us even more reliant on external validation to feel good about ourselves. Another feedback loop.
To break free from the craving this virtual validation, we must cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external approval. This involves a shift in mindset that values our own opinions and achievements over the fleeting affirmations of others. It’s about finding fulfillment in the process of creation and self-expression, rather than in the reception of those creations. Being yourself, not for others, but only for your own self.
True fulfillment comes from genuine human connections, built on mutual respect and understanding. While social media can be a tool for connecting with others, it should not and cannot replace real-life interactions. Investing time and energy in relationships that matter provides a deep sense of belonging and validation that no number of likes can ever offer.
Key Takeaway
Our craving for virtual validation is a reflection of our innate desire to be seen and acknowledged. Since social media can offer a semblance of this, we often forget that it falls short of fulfilling our deeper needs. We can break free from the cycle of dependency and find true contentment by shifting our focus from external approval to internal validation and genuine connections.
As I often reflect in my writings, the journey toward self-discovery and fulfillment is an ongoing process, one that requires introspection, resilience, and a commitment to living authentically.
