Be The Leader You’d Follow

Lessons from Simon Sinek’s Leaders Eat Last

Hello hello hello!

It’s been a while since my last book review because I’ve been crazy busy after joining Rakuten EXPRESS as a PM earlier this year. Although to be honest, I didn’t stop reading during these past months. It was only the reviewing that was put on hold, so maybe you’ll catch influences from other authors in this and the upcoming reviews.

And… What you came here for

It was fun to see another chapter of Sinek’s exploration of community building and impactful leadership through clear meaning. After becoming an avid promoter of the ideas he presents on Starting With Why and taking the next step to use his official guide for Finding Your Why, I just finished an organic move in his journey: Leaders Eat Last.

The premise is simple and straight to the point:

We gladly follow those who inspire us and make us feel safe and supported.

It’s pretty obvious, right?

I can’t believe how intuitive this idea is.

At first glance, it’s simple and self-contained, but ‘Leaders Eat’ Last takes you through a journey to understand the meaning hidden behind those seemingly simple words.

Sinek builds up a compelling case on why and how we should try harder to become the leaders we ourselves want to follow.

I always keep thinking that this kind of book reviews offer no real value if all the author is going to do is summarize the contents of the book. If that’s what your looking for this might not be the right place. Reviews such as this one focus on discussing what the reviewer found to be the most compelling ideas in relation to other topics that further explore outside the scope of the original book. Unlike a dull summary, this kind of review actually helps the ideas of the book’s author expand through critical thinking.

That being said…

How does this book impact me specifically?

Well, a couple of points actually:

• As a Product Manager, I find myself having conversations every day with colleagues from this and that department in order to push things forward. I’m not sure how familiar you are with the role of the PM in software development, but so that you know, it relies heavily on Stakeholder Management. The reason for this is pretty straightforward: as a PM, you’re nobody’s boss. This means that you can’t tell people what to do and just expect them to do it. You need to talk them into doing this or that, with solid arguments and empathy. So, yeah, “Sinek is discussing leadership? where do I sign up!?”
• I’m an employee (unfortunately very far from the top layer of the hierarchical structure), and this means I have leaders who I am expected to follow. But since we’re all humans and sometimes we make mistakes or let our personal passions get in the way of our judgment, I was hoping this book would give me some elements to enrich the relationship with my leaders so that I could help them as much as they help me.
• Last but not least, I am a millennial. In ‘Leaders Eat Last’, Sinek spends a couple of chapters discussing specific aspects of our generation and how we fit into the current corporate world.

The part of the book I was totally not expecting (SPOILER ALERT)

In his book, Sinek resorts to chemistry as a mechanism to explain the human behaviors he was discussing. You can check it out yourself in the book but just to briefly put it out there for those of you who will stay only with the review of the book; Sinek presents four chemicals that our brains generate as a response to certain stimuli, and the effects they have on our behavior.

The “Selfish” chemicals

Endorphin: makes us feel short term pleasure

Dopamine: helps us stay focused on goals and find pleasure after reaching them

He argues that the selfish chemicals offer incentives for our bodies to persevere individually, to build shelters, invent tools, drive forward and get things done. Without these, we would not be able to solve pressing issues that affect our day to day and in the short term, our survival would be compromised.

The “Selfless” chemicals

Oxytocin: makes us feel pride, the warmth of bonding with others and act with generosity

Serotonin: makes us crave social acceptance

In contrast, the selfless chemicals incentivize us to work together and develop feelings of trust and loyalty for each other. Without these, we would not be able to cooperate and our long term survival would be ultimately compromised.

The story that Sinek builds around these four chemicals is just fascinating

Resorting to biology to describe human behavior, rather than a ‘softer’ argumentation mechanism, provides a remarkably valuable asset: a scientifically robust foundation to build behavioral frameworks that we can implement in our communities, families, and workplaces.

This opens the door to a deeper understanding of what happens behind social phenomenons where misaligned incentives make or break a system. Think about the relationship between us and a leader we’d gladly follow because he believes in us and gives us the space to grow aligned to the greater vision, versus the way we relate with an authority that leads with intimidation and fear.

What kind of leader are you?

What kind of leaders are you currently following (or just nodding to)?

Thank you for reading and if you found this interesting, don’t hesitate to comment or reach out. I’ve found that a healthy discussion about a topic of our interest is the best way to digest the content.

I’m a Product Manager in Rakuten EXPRESS with a proclivity for web design and programming. I live in Japan and currently help a startup in AgTech and other in EdTech get off the ground. Happy to connect on LinkedIn or Instagram. And while you’re at it, here’s my website.