Circles of Influence
What determines us
The recent discussion between Анжелика Грошева and Evgeshichek provoked some thoughts which I want to share. Анжелика Грошева described the problem of the dysfunctional families destroying children’s lives. Evgeshichek replied with the two ideas which help to reboot a damaged person, which are constant doubt on one’s every action and thought, and minimizing the contact with families.
I think that it is too much to expect from any person, that she would consciously change her mindset, and doubt her actions. As an input to this discussion, I would suppose to change the social circle. This method may help to eliminate harmful influence by obtaining new ideas, models, and values.
Sally Rooney shows how a person’s mind transforms during the journey between social groups. In Normal People, she shows this effect even more complete. There is a boy who was attached to his local community, and a girl who belonged neither to the community nor to her family. They both had to adapt to the outside world and find new circles of influence. The girl was more successful in this endeavor probably, because she was not attached to her past. In contrast, the boy who felt protected in the local community become more vulnerable now.
These characters give me a hint to Frances’s personality. I think that her dysfunctional family is the reason why she can join higher social groups. It is not easy for her, but it is possible because she is motivated, and she used to uncertainty and discomfort. If she felt comfortable in her family and community, she would not try new challenges.
