Blueprint For Healthy Coping
Coping strategies are things that any of us can always get constructive use out of. Coping with problems throughout our lives is something we all must do, as problems are a normal part of human life. Times will always come, where we must cope. There are endless ways and strategies in which can cope. There’s healthy, and extremely unhealthy ways.
Mastering those skills and learning about all the different techniques can become skills that make the tough times in life a bit more manageable.
If we deal with tough situations as they come, we can be far less likely to have something negative build up, and strengthen. If scenarios like that arise, it can be much more difficult to cope with.
Problem focused strategy is a technique where we cope by literally tackling the problem or scenario head on. It requires us to have a strong, solid direct focus on the problem at hand. That focus should involve keeping our eyes on the situation, and then expanding that focus into a growing concentration.
We keep the attention on exactly where it needs to be. We must be cautious as to not allow the problem to grow stronger then it needs to be. To avoid that, we should be careful to not allow an exaggeration of anything. Accept the problem, but do not lose control of that focus. Keep it realistic.
We also can have a solid awareness that is based on past experiences and negative situations. We can always look back, and try to figure out and remember what got us through those times before. We can also remember all the wrong things, and the wrong ways we tried things last time. There is always room to learn, from past times of literal screwing up.
Another technique that it can’t hurt to try is to engage someone else into your problem and seek feedback. This is something though that we must be very careful of. If we are not remaining mindful on who we’re selecting as a guide for feedback, a lot of problems will develop. Don’t allow personal problems, or dilemmas to find the wrong hands.
So, from being problem focused in our coping, we now look at the emotion focused side of things. Things that are used for handling feelings of discomfort, stress, and anxiety. The issue with this is though, we are busy handling those type of feelings, while we are not working to handle the actual problem that causes these kind of feelings.
An example of this could be something like- we continue to become overwhelmed with something at our work. Stacked up work, big deadlines coming, new responsibilities or what have you.
During all this time, we are not asking for any help or assistance. But we sure are being vocal about our complaints of being overwhelmed. It just does not offer any progress or solution.
We may even use the blame techniques for this scenario. We may blame ourselves inside for and all failures, while on the outside we are blaming everyone but ourselves. When work volumes get overloaded, we can make mistakes. We still do not ask for help. So it portrays to the outside, that it isn’t the level of work, but it just must be an incompetence. Though inaccurate, that label can stick and spread quite fast.
This can fester and develop quite strongly, and there’s potential that it can lead to another negative emotion focused strategy. One of which involves avoidance, and eventually, can gain enough strength to even cause straight denial. Denial is very unhealthy.
The longer and more detailed Denial gets, the much more difficult shaking it off, and getting out of denial can be. Reason being, it has the potential to turn into something that is multi layered.
So where do we go from here? Strategies of denial can lead to final steps of things that are false senses, and false hopes. Dreaming of a better situation.
Hoping someday we win the lottery to save our financial woes. Unrealistic ventures that are nothing more then chances requiring the rarest of random luck. Not anything that we can use as anything realistic that’ll happen. Because most likely, those type of dreams won’t happen to any of us.
Coping can be quite difficult. I’m not sure if people are ever really born with instinctive coping skills or abilities.
We simply use a toned down version of fight or flight, and we try our best to cope in what we think to be healthy ways. Sometimes coping requires time to heal.
Sometimes it means asking for help. It’s looking towards of family or social network, where we might find that solid hope, that then guides us to coping in ways, that are healthy and productive. Coping skills that are our next steps to getting through things in problem and emotion based senses.