I No Longer Have Mood Swings. Here’s Why.
For some of us, mastering emotion seems impossible. But the answer’s deceptively simple.
Mood swings can be vicious, especially when they hurt those around you. I often used to go from a perfect state of calm to fits of rage. I didn’t know why or when it would happen.
But as I looked more at myself, I started to realize there was a reason. Or should I say, there were several reasons.
What does it mean to be a moody person? Well, for one, it means that you’re sensitive, even hypersensitive, to stimuli.
It doesn’t take much. If someone does something you don’t like, you’re triggered.
It goes the other way, too.
You can jump from neutral to ecstatic at the slightest positive provocation.
As you might imagine, being around a moody person isn’t easy. If it’s real bad, you might feel you have to tiptoe around them, afraid of throwing them into a temper tantrum.
I didn’t want this to be the case with the people around me. It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually I was able to get a handle on my emotions.
It all started with introspection.
I asked myself why. Why is it I get irritated when someone does X, Y or Z? Why is it I lapse so easily into sadness and despair?
A lot of it had to do with caring too much. By caring too much, you invest a disproportionate amount of yourself in someone or something. If it’s successful, you’re in high spirits. But if it fails, you’re down in the dumps.
Nothing should have the power to move you from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other just like that.
It’s also connected to expectation. Expectation is the reason we’re disillusioned and, ultimately, skeptical of the world.
Certainly, it’s difficult to not care when inside you really do. And it’s very difficult to not naturally have expectations. Both are part and parcel of everyday life, of operating as human beings with active minds, desires, hopes and fears.
That’s why I meditate.
Meditation helps ease me, clear my head and clarify my life vision.
With consistent sessions of promoting mindfulness, I find that I’m far more centered. I’m stable. My emotions don’t so quickly bend in any which direction.
Meditation doesn’t “fix” you. It teaches you to accept.
Walks in nature and time to myself are beneficial as well.
Sometimes I enjoy analyzing my thoughts and really exercising my mind with scenarios and deep questions. Sometimes I prefer to be mentally free, and to just flow with the air around me.
Trees, the sound of water and earth under my feet all create an ideal environment to listen to myself, or do nothing at all.
As long as you’re able to understand your identity, you’ll be much better at coping with how you internalize things.
It’s been said quite a bit. Letting go is the key to happiness, because attachment is the road to unhappiness.
When you become attached, this object or person has the ability to determine what you feel, when you feel and how often you feel. Oh, and the intensity of your feeling.
To navigate this potential problem, it’s simple. Keep your distance.
But doesn’t this sound as if you’re scared? As if you’re unwilling to take risks for rewards?
Or it could be cautionary.
Managing expectation and your response to negative outcomes go hand in hand. Trying to be optimistic is necessary.
You don’t automatically have to lower your expectations and expect the worst. That would be depressing. What you should do, though, is not see everything so narrowly.
Open your mind to other possibilities. Again, meditation is fantastic for softening the rigidities of your mind.
Additionally, you can write in a journal. Writing is highly therapeutic, as it works similar to confession. You can wipe things off your chest and be unburdened. The fact that you don’t have to share you writing with anyone makes it that much more personal.
I have a journal myself. I write in it almost everyday. I don’t follow a specific agenda. I simply write whatever’s on my mind.
Overthinking is another issue of mine. It’s an issue because overthinking can invent false realities, which in turn affect how I feel.
I tend to always overthink. One way to combat this is to be busy, or to socialize more. If you have something you’re doing, such as preparing a report, you don’t have time for thoughts to wander. You’re focused on the task at hand.
Socializing is no different. With others, your energy is placed on them, on listening to what they have to say and contributing to the conversation.
I do my best to appreciate the present. Leave the past behind where it belongs, and don’t fret about a future that hasn’t materialized yet.
Overthinking can come of dwelling on things out of your control. Or it can come of having nothing else to do.
Familiarity and comfort are sometimes to blame. Beat them by breaking out of your box and changing up your routine. By doing so, your mind won’t go into autopilot, but will be forced to make sense of what’s new.
So to sum up, you should
- Meditate — it relaxes and soothes the mind
- Keep a journal — it can be where you vent, where you recover
- Live in the here and now — everything else isn’t super relevant
By meditating, you’ll be more composed. You can grow to be more flexible with your personal philosophies and more tolerant of the inevitable.
By keeping a journal, you can start a log of your feelings. It can serve as your confidant. You can tease out what you make of your life in relation to the world.
By living in the here and now, you can stop overthinking. You can devote all your time and resources to being present and being content with the present.
Thanks for reading the Real Life Resilience publication
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