Why Expectation Is Better Than Reality
What you think is not always what is
In one of my favorite novels ever written, the narrator of In Search of Lost Time discovers that the Italy he dreamed of for so long isn’t that great. Not only that, the high-status men and women he used to idolize from a distance aren’t what they’re cracked up to be.
It’s not that Italy and celebrities are actually meh. No, it’s that the intellectual stuff going on up here *tapping my temple* knows no bounds.
What do I mean by that?
We can create the best possible version of something or someone through imagination alone.
We’re so developed and our minds are so powerful that what we want is often an enhanced version of what really is. The operative word here is want. We want places to be beautiful. We want people to be fantastic. Why wouldn’t we want whatever is ideal?
I’ve found this to be the case in my life, too. I have a glimmering vision of what an upcoming experience will be like. It comes and I’m almost inevitably let down. Again, it’s not that the experience itself is objectively bad. It’s that the anticipation of it was just better.
If you’re not careful, you can easily pick up a self-destructive habit. Thinking things will be all that to find that they’re not hurts. It’s tiring and disillusioning to fall victim to the hype — even if you’re the one bringing the hype.
I haven’t quite figured out a solution just yet. There are times where I say to myself, “I can’t believe I did it again!” That is, I can’t believe I let my hopes and wishes run away from me, leaving me empty afterwards.
What I do to manage is this:
I don’t plan for the worst. That would be hugely depressing.
Instead, I try my hardest to live in the moment. That way, I have the highest chance to get the most out of whatever it is I’m doing.
Sure, I might still come away feeling cheated or dissatisfied, but at least I know that I gave it a fair shake.
