At Almost 50, My Sex Life Has Never Been More Fulfilling — Even Though I Don’t Have a Partner

How exploring solosexuality has brought more love, peace, and pleasure into my life

Photo by Livi Po on Unsplash

I’ve finally done it. I have the most fulfilling sex life I’ve ever had — at almost 50. And you know what’s crazy? I’m not currently having sex with other people.

I know, that might sound confusing. Most people would say you cannot have a sex life in the absence of a partner.

And yet, I do. And a very happy one, at that.

I don’t consider myself celibate. I see myself as “solosexual.”

Some might call this silly nonsense, playing with semantics, or even someone trying to convince herself that she’s happy when, in fact, she’s really not. And if you’re one of those people, this story is likely not for you.

But if you’re curious — and, in particular, curious about creating a happy sex life that you can enjoy in absolutely any circumstance of life — then let’s get into it.

Last year, at my annual gynecological exam, my doctor asked me, as she always does, “Are you sexually active right now?”

Without even thinking, I answered, “Yes, but only with myself.”