5 Lessons I Learned from Food Poisoning in an Indian Ashram
I was supposed to be meditating instead
I met my Indian meditation guide two weeks prior to COVID. When I lost my job during the lockdown, this practice helped me a lot not to go nuts.
When countries started opening their borders again two years later, my guide invited me to visit our ashram.
I was thrilled about going there. Spiritual books and stuff like that gave me a very romantic image of such a place.
So my plane just landed, and I was about to catch an Uber to get to the place.
Before we dive in, no spiritual book can stop me from being me. I am analytical, curious, and ironic. Now picture me at the ashram.
As you might guess, the ashram was nothing like how the books describe it. On one hand, there were fancy hotels, cricket courses, restaurants, etc. On the other hand, massive dormitories and weird toilets without a hint of hot water, toilet paper or privacy.
The ashram is in the southern part of India, which is known for its very spicy food. India’s food has never been my favourite thing about the country. I can’t eat spicy foods, but it was supposed to be an international ashram, right?
Day 1. I stood in line for 15 minutes to get my first meal, only to realise I couldn’t eat it. Thankfully, masala tea was so sweet that it replaced that meal.
Day 3. I was trying to avoid spices and even got an invitation to a fancy restaurant. And, oh my, the food was good. There were fresh salads, fruit and toast. For 2 days. After that, locals decided to cook for local guests, but local guests didn’t like tasteless European food.
Stop thinking about food. You are in the ashram, you might say. So, go meditate. Consume the solstice energy.
I did. I tried. Every day, my dorm neighbour would wake me up at 5 a.m. so that I could get in line for the bathroom. Then meditation and short yoga, surrounded by Indian old ladies gazing at me. And afterwards, you know what. Fight for survival.
I failed.
Day 5. I was still avoiding spices. But by 8 p.m., bedtime, my stomach didn’t feel right.
10 pm. Everyone in my dorm was snuffling in their sleep.
12 am. I can’t force myself to go to that bathroom.
1 am. Yeah, OK. I can.
Day 6. My dorm neighbour woke me up at 5 a.m. again. And you know what? I said “no”. I had a good reason.
Lesson 1: It’s about how you name it
The sooner you can find something positive in a bad situation, the better you will feel. My food poisoning gave me a sense of control: I didn’t have to rush, even if everyone else was.
Lesson 2: Magical thinking works both ways
I saw food poisoning as my “day off” opportunity. I was exhausted. However, people see the same thing very differently. To my surprise, I heard a lot of “explanations” from other practitioners:
This is how your body cleanses itself in a sacred place.
It’s a sign — you must open a parish.
You don’t practise enough, and this is your atonement.
My analytical mind was trying to be as objective as possible, which is the wrong attitude to have in a place like this. However, you are the one who decides how to think about each situation. No matter how hard they push.
Lesson 3: Don’t take their word for it
On my first day at the ashram, I decided to see a local doctor about my sleep problems, and I was prescribed special pills. When the food poisoning occurred, the doctor advised me to reduce the dosage. Nobody told me what the pills were made of or explained anything. All of my questions would get a head wobbling response. It made me wonder if the poisoning might have been caused by this treatment.
Lesson 4: Know a guy who knows another guy
In India, similarly to Georgia, Uzbekistan or Turkey, I realised I needed a local who would make deals on my behalf. For example, to find a taxi driver to take me back to the airport because Uber drivers didn’t go to the ashram. Unfortunately, it was too late by the time I got it. I should have started by meeting the cook’s relatives.
It makes your brain think much faster than usual but distracts from the main idea of meditation.
Lesson 5: Sometimes you are enough
It’s your choice to be yourself or turn into someone else. The important thing is that others respect your decision. I did not mind that other practitioners wore guru amulets, but I did mind being forced to do the same.
I wanted to find my inner source and learn to meditate. After the ashram, I realised that I would probably be finding and losing it for the rest of my life. And I did not think that rituals and merch were connected to the inner source.
I am sure there are tons of ashrams that offer very different experiences. Probably, I just needed that one to appreciate what I had then and what I have now.
